The Protectorate of Koolostan is a huge, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, flagrant waste-dumping, and absence of drug laws. The hard-working, democratic population of 573 million Koolostanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny government prioritizes Education, although Welfare, Industry, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chala. The average income tax rate is 8.2%.

The powerhouse Koolostanian economy, worth 56.4 trillion Humas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 98,405 Humas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

School lockers are filled with fancy underwear, the new national campaign exhorts men to "Show Some Class - Don't Sit On Your Ass", homes without staircases are considered a step up in luxury, and Leader can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Koolostan's national animal is the Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Koolostan is ranked 210,583^rd in the world and 33^rd in Nudist Dreamland for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 119.33 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.