The Republic of Kispaming is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Sapagan with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, daily referendums, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.963 billion Kispamingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Spagmik. The average income tax rate is 99.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kispamingian economy, worth a remarkable 2,695 trillion pesos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 300,773 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents, there's a bright dawn ahead for Kispaming, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, and people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kispaming's national animal is the hamster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Kispaming is ranked 1,439^th in the world and 27^th in the Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 10,322.6 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.