The Democratic Republic of Inner Albania is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Robert Hoxha with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, infamous sell-swords, and frequent executions. The compassionate, cheerful population of 5.329 billion Inner Albanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 66.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Inner Albanian economy, worth 723 trillion leks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 135,804 leks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every workday begins with group therapy, sex education has become an intricate maze of stick figures and complex metaphors, the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by Inner Albanians, and taxpayers receive expenditure reports from the Grand High Poobah of the Order of Violet. Crime is totally unknown. Inner Albania's national animal is the white-tailed eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Inner Albania is ranked 40,312^th in the world and 402^nd in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 38.27 flags saluted per person per day.