The Democratic Republic of Inner Albania is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Paweł Piątek with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 8.902 billion Inner Albanians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, corrupt, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Tirana. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Inner Albanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,278 trillion leks a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 143,571 leks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law, hairdressers are forced to use all the tricks of the trade after citizens became required to wear helmets at all times, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge, and the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Albania's national animal is the white-tailed eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Inner Albania is ranked 3,252^nd in the world and 6^th in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Most Cultured, scoring 203 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.