The Constitutional Gold Monarchy of Illestan is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Matt Nightshade with an iron fist, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 5.226 billion Illestanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luvinia. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Illestanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,306 trillion Gold Bars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 250,072 Gold Bars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Former slave-owners hope there are no hard feelings when they apply for jobs from their erstwhile charges, no one believes anything until it has been strenuously tested and peer-reviewed, golden statues of Bats line the memorial avenues of the Funerary District, and fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Illestan's national animal is the Bat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lopefis.

Illestan is ranked 319,131^st in the world and 44^th in Yggdrasil for Nicest Citizens, with 0.44 average smiles per day.