The Federal Republic of Helveca is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Uriel Rhor with an iron fist, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, prohibition of alcohol, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 5.771 billion Helvecans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hathe. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 59.1%.

The powerhouse Helvecan economy, worth 489 trillion Imperial Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 84,881 Imperial Marks, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Movement-triggered sensors mean that for every door that closes another one opens, war criminals are given full state funerals, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, and expensive lawyers are hired to defend citizens in court for public urination charges against their pets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Helveca's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Helveca is ranked 216,598^th in the world and 13^th in The United Empires of Carson for Most Primitive, scoring -93.67 on the Scary Big Number Scale.