The Socialist Pessimists of Hellawi is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Comrade BluzMynki with an even hand, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, state-planned economy, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 29.415 billion Hellawi are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wherda. The average income tax rate is 92.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Hellawi economy, worth a remarkable 4,623 trillion Mynkis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 157,192 Mynkis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, a recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, and economic planning is exalted as a human art form. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hellawi's national animal is the Aardvark, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Hellawi is ranked 305,285^th in the world and 28^th in Hippy Haven for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 12,575.39 Standard Monetary Units.