The Thirteen Zombie Hells of HC Eredivisie is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Richard with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 45.201 billion HC Eredivisieans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Healthcare are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of A little village up the coast. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient HC Eredivisiean economy, worth a staggering 50,433 trillion Fwooshes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 1,115,770 Fwooshes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Escargots have lost their charm ever since they started to be called 'cooked land snails', police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races, foreigners must sell an arm and a leg to afford surgery in HC Eredivisie, and police are trained in using their steel-capped boots as a tool of law enforcement. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. HC Eredivisie's national animal is the Hctib Elttil, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Max Barryism.

HC Eredivisie is ranked 290,928^th in the world and 121^st in belgium for Highest Food Quality, scoring 1.68 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.