The Incorporated States of Alestadpolkhbizzydor is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Joseph Stalin with an iron fist, and notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, sprawling nuclear power plants, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.801 billion Alestadpolkhbizzydorians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alestadpolkhbizzydor City. The average income tax rate is 85.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alestadpolkhbizzydorian economy, worth 395 trillion Florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 219,445 Florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Employees who skip lunch to avoid sub-par cafeteria food risk getting fired, warfare increasingly resembles a video game, government projects are full of waste, and only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alestadpolkhbizzydor's national animal is the Dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Communism.

Alestadpolkhbizzydor is ranked 2,611^th in the world and 79^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 91.38 flags saluted per person per day.