The Yassified Empire of Gonzalestan is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Tsarina Gavriella with an even hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, daily referendums, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, hard-working population of 6.632 billion Gonzalestanis have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pachinkin. The average income tax rate is 87.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Gonzalestani economy, worth 611 trillion marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 92,184 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned bullball fields, drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking, Tsarina Gavriella's campaign events reach their climax when the celebrity endorsers reveal themselves, and the comic book series 'Tsarina Gavriella and the Villainous Corporate Cronies' is a best-seller. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gonzalestan's national animal is the bull, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Judaism.

Gonzalestan is ranked 43,624^th in the world and 2,716^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.26 law-abiding acts per hour.