The United Commonwealths of Gagium is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by King Arsène Rodier with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, vat-grown people, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 8.471 billion Gagians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Louis. The average income tax rate is 3.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Gagian economy, worth a remarkable 2,541 trillion Gagis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 300,064 Gagis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Travellers are often forcibly evicted by torch-bearing mobs, the nation has become a pariah for giving pirates letters of marque, scientific progress marches ever forward with the first ever launch of a cheeseburger into space, and the government is a proud sponsor of the National Gaming Association. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Gagium's national animal is the Pelican, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Gagium is ranked 43,095^th in the world and 22^nd in The League of Conservative Nations for Highest Drug Use, scoring 94.8 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.