The United Commonwealths of Gagium is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Arsène Rodier with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, sprawling nuclear power plants, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 7.077 billion Gagians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Louis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Gagian economy, worth a remarkable 2,132 trillion Gagis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 301,327 Gagis, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 895,947 per year while the poor average 79,454, a ratio of 11.3 to 1.

Lottery winners spend most of their money on security, the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give, unused plastic recycling bins are being dumped into landfills by the tonne, and the last thing Gagian soldiers hear before charging into battle is a preacher trying to convert them. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Gagium's national animal is the Pelican, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Gagium is ranked 6,454^th in the world and 9^th in The League of Conservative Nations for Largest Basket Weaving Sector, scoring 7,151.86 on the Hickory Productivity Index.