The Kingdom and Commonwealths of Gagium is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Arsène Rodier with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, ubiquitous missile silos, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 5.301 billion Gagiumishes have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Louis. The average income tax rate is 2.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Gagiumish economy, worth a remarkable 1,421 trillion Gagis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 268,143 Gagis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Teenagers stay out into the wee hours of the morning "stargazing", Pelicans that venture near secret military bases are routinely executed for espionage, the government prides itself on being smug and condescending to idiots, and the populace harbors a fierce hatred of the metric system. Crime is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Gagium's national animal is the Pelican, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Christianity.

Gagium is ranked 264^th in the world and 3^rd in Federation of Conservative Nations for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 44,478.9 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.