The Cognomandate of Esklabau is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by First Counsellor Bellamy Echo with an even hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, sprawling nuclear power plants, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 4.317 billion Esklabans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Egia. The average income tax rate is 36.0%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esklaban economy, worth 855 trillion ¤ Cogits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 198,067 ¤ Cogits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Bad punctuation has come to a full stop, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, sniffer dogs check train passengers for body odour, and incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables. Crime is totally unknown. Esklabau's national animal is the Chevrotain, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jakinduria Jasotua.

Esklabau is ranked 68,777^th in the world and 20^th in Philosophers for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,781.48 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.