The Democratic Republic of Eistraeichesch-Belsch is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its compulsory military service, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 4.345 billion éisträichesch-belscher are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brüssel-Wien. The average income tax rate is 25.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish éisträichesch-belsche economy, worth 132 trillion Gulden-florins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 30,449 Gulden-florins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's an aura of pseudoscience around academia, traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers, an internet search for the word "bland" produces pictures of Leader, and psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Leader to meetings with foreign heads of state. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Eistraeichesch-Belsch's national animal is the Féderalenräich Phoenix and its national religion is Catholicism.

Eistraeichesch-Belsch is ranked 82,987^th in the world and 4^th in The House of Prayer for Safest, scoring 89.64 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.