The Commonwealth Republic of Eireannian South Africa is a gargantuan, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, pith helmet sales, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 15.378 billion Eireannian South Africans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pretoria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.8%.

The all-consuming Eireannian South African economy, worth a remarkable 1,670 trillion South African Guinnesses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 108,621 South African Guinnesses, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock", political speeches always take place at sunset to a background of patriotic power ballads, sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming, and indigenous tribal elders can be recognised by their designer watches and expensive suits. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eireannian South Africa's national animal is the Springbok, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Reformed Orthodox Christianity.

Eireannian South Africa is ranked 239,922^nd in the world and 24^th in The Confederacy of Free Lands for Highest Food Quality, scoring 8.41 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.