The Oppressed Peoples of Desolate Thomas is a mammoth, efficient nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 7.097 billion Desolate Thomasians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Spirituality, Industry, and Defense are also considered important, while Welfare and Public Transport aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.4%.

The powerhouse Desolate Thomasian economy, worth 373 trillion Doom and Glooms a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Soda Sales. Average income is 52,563 Doom and Glooms, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 192,159 per year while the poor average 10,198, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

All tariffs have been abolished and a dictator has seized power and outlawed elections. Crime is a serious problem. Desolate Thomas's national animal is the Lost Cause, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Desolate Thomas is ranked 12,073^rd in the world and 139^th in eta for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 7,853.77 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.