The Kingdom of Craff is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by King Crimson with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful population of 23.882 billion Craffians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shell City. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Craffian economy, worth a remarkable 5,931 trillion Craffian Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 248,361 Craffian Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Diplomats agree to the terms and conditions of peace treaties without reading them, travelers praise airports for their endless beige corridors, mosh pits are a common phenomenon in King Crimson's political rallies, and military barracks resemble five-star hotels. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Craff's national animal is the Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Craffisim.

Craff is ranked 13,891^st in the world and 459^th in Lazarus for Largest Populations, with 23.9 billion capita.