The Republic of Consoland is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Consus Magnus with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.257 billion Consolandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Consonia. The average income tax rate is 52.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Consolandian economy, worth 336 trillion Consuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 103,409 Consuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Women across the country are tying the knot, counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, commercial breaks often lead to nervous breakdowns, and emergency vehicles have built-in nudge bars to give uncooperative drivers a "gentle" push. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Consoland's national animal is the Axolotl, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans, and its national religion is Cult of Consus.

Consoland is ranked 301,564^th in the world and 1,625^th in the Plains of Perdition for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 23.12 on the Bus Surprisal Index.