The Imperial State of Chelovka is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Tzar Artemiy Kozinovich-Kefalov with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, unlimited-speed roads, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.774 billion Chelovkans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kozino. The average income tax rate is 99.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Chelovkan economy, worth a remarkable 3,827 trillion Ration Notes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 492,294 Ration Notes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The army's use of chemical weapons leaves a bad taste in the mouth, at the edge of the final frontier space's biggest missile platform is about to unfold, the government is well known for declaring war on other countries for suspected slights, and students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chelovka's national animal is the Grey Fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Chelovka is ranked 332,321^st in the world and 30^th in The Great Monarchical Nations for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 7.4 on the Kitten Softness Rating.