The Matriarchy of Catfeine is a very large, genial nation, remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, suspicion of poets, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 463 million Catfeineans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cat Café City. The average income tax rate is 17.3%.

The powerhouse Catfeinean economy, worth 43.0 trillion Mocatccino Moniezzes a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 92,854 Mocatccino Moniezzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Industry tycoons rarely hide their misdeeds due to the government's habit of bailing them out, rural Catfeineans are missing the forest for the numerous cellular towers they replaced, black gold is looking more brown these days, and grinning punters say that casino roulette is the greatest high that life has to offer. Crime is totally unknown. Catfeine's national animal is the Cat on 1 gram of Caffeine, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Catfeine is ranked 137,231^st in the world and 2,421^st in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 67.93 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.