The Loving Couple of CanonShip- is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Cat with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, compulsory vegetarianism, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 9.968 billion CanonShip-ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hexside. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 67.8%.

The frighteningly efficient CanonShip-ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,122 trillion snails a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 112,623 snails, with the richest citizens earning 8.7 times as much as the poorest.

Savvy students quote paywalled research knowing that university lecturers can't afford to check the citations, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Cat to meetings with foreign heads of state, the government is rumored to hire body doubles whose full-time jobs are to cry at public events, and young people avoid opening doors for the elderly with impunity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CanonShip-'s national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

CanonShip- is ranked 32,885^th in the world and 1^st in Salem for Safest, scoring 107.97 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.