The Republic of Calmut is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Director with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The cynical, devout population of 8.716 billion Calmutians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Calmut. The average income tax rate is 63.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Calmutian economy, worth 466 trillion Smists a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 53,555 Smists, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The Department of Health is snowed under by requests for crisper ciabatta and tenderer tagliatelle, former stunt pilots are unable to pass the licence test to fly a drone, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts, and recreational drug businesses are regularly pruned if they grow above the maximum legal size. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calmut's national animal is the swan, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Direction.

Calmut is ranked 224,784^th in the world and 8,318^th in Osiris for Highest Food Quality, scoring 9.79 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.