The Dictatorship of Cacaon is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 686 million Cacaonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Environment are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.8%.

The powerhouse Cacaonian economy, worth 62.1 trillion chocs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is 90,568 chocs, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions, welfare funding has recently gone through the roof, practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning, and the military will start wars with other nations on a lark. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent. Cacaon's national animal is the Kolata, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cacaon is ranked 266,319^th in the world and 87^th in The Black Hawks for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 38.75 on the Kitten Softness Rating.