The Commonwealth of Bahamaland is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, complete lack of prisons, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.677 billion Bahamalandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Industry, although Healthcare, Administration, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Abaco. The average income tax rate is 37.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bahamalandian economy, worth 914 trillion Bahamian Dollars a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 105,405 Bahamian Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Motorway service stations often have a higher population than the hinterland villages that the roads lead to, Leader is famed for giving great back rubs, on-duty Air Bahamaland flight attendants are usually seen napping in first class, and concussed Flamingoball players cannot remember their lineup position. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bahamaland's national animal is the Flamingo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bahamaland is ranked 276,808^th in the world and 19^th in Safan for Safest, scoring 7.17 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.