The Kolechia Hater of Artstokska is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Lamp with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.43 billion Lamps are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lamp. The average income tax rate is 74.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Artstokskan economy, worth 320 trillion Lamps a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 131,884 Lamps, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Forgotten trend connoisseurs turn their nose at one wrinkle, bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins, the construction of massive skyscrapers seems to be the result of Artstokska's mid-life crisis, and apples shaped like baguettes have become a strange new food fad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Artstokska's national animal is the Lamp, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lamp.

Artstokska is ranked 35,587^th in the world and 1^st in Silly for Highest Average Incomes, with 131,884.9 Standard Monetary Units.