The Grand Republic of Havenwelle is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kevin Burke with an iron fist, and notable for its national health service, aversion to nipples, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 19.274 billion Havenwelleans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Haven. The average income tax rate is 68.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Havenwellean economy, worth a remarkable 4,216 trillion Havs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 218,786 Havs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day, the internal market is thriving, funeral directors are frequently looking at their watches during funerals, and jails have become colloquially known as 'vampire houses'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Havenwelle's national animal is the Brittany Spaniel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Church of Havenwelle.

Havenwelle is ranked 16,258^th in the world and 395^th in the South Pacific for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 314.58 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.