The Holy Empire of Arkins is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Unicorn Wizard with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, sprawling nuclear power plants, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate population of 29.509 billion Arkolytes enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Healthcare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The powerhouse Arkolyte economy, worth a remarkable 3,279 trillion ninjas a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 111,123 ninjas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Turning eighteen is often referred to as the 'Age of Aquarius', cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path, and mechanics are often exhausted by their work. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arkins's national animal is the hellhound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Beeology.

Arkins is ranked 328,302^nd in the world and 17,609^th in Lazarus for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -20.14 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.