The City of Alpine is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Gavin Newsom with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working population of 15.511 billion Alpineans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alpine. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Alpinean economy, worth a remarkable 2,390 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 154,101 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

Commemorative mugs remembering last year's Black Friday Crockery Riots are a best seller this year, soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers, the state auctions off combat drones to fund war reparations, and excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. Crime is totally unknown. Alpine's national animal is the coyote, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Paganism.

Alpine is ranked 251,012^th in the world and 5^th in Alpine for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -4 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.