The Gradual Disintegration of Alan is a gargantuan, genial nation, renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, national health service, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 23.088 billion Alanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City of First Light. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 47.2%.

The strong Alanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,347 trillion single-origin chocolate bars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 58,371 single-origin chocolate bars, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Raver DJ XStacy holds multiple medical degrees in chillaxing, solid-gold toilets are Alanian prisons' least expensive furnishings, bars are packed at all hours, and psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Leader to meetings with foreign heads of state. Crime, especially youth-related, is a problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Alan's national animal is the malfunctioning blue keyboard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alan is ranked 19,590^th in the world and 4^th in Hippy Haven for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 7,251.88 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.