The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by El Guapo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 39.299 billion Afi-Aftosians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Industry, although Administration and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loompaland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 81.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth a remarkable 7,991 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Retail, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 203,341 Fishterous Correlations, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Students who do not recite the national anthem each morning have to drop and give their teacher 50, credit scores fluctuate wildly with every change of government, overhead luggage compartments on planes sometimes conceal dimunitive intelligence officers, and corrupt industrial practices are spreading like a plague. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 215,245^th in the world and 6^th in Fredonia for Most Devout, with 4.57 Prayers Per Hour.