The Funniest Nation of Achainian Messenger is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Lottie with an even hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, compulsory military service, and devotion to social welfare. The quiet, industrious population of 10.195 billion Achainians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vladimir's Basement. The average income tax rate is 73.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Achainian economy, worth 291 trillion funnies a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 28,575 funnies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Military spending is on the increase, Achainian Messenger has designated Vladimir's Basement as its capital city, Lottie has just been declared ruler of Achainian Messenger in an international press conference, and Neo-Lotaranism has been named as Achainian Messenger's national religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Achainian Messenger's national animal is the Dog and its national religion is Neo-Lotaranism.

Achainian Messenger is ranked 122,046^th in the world and 497^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Corrupt Governments, with 7.12 kickbacks per hour.