The Beatles of New Estoniaball is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, soft-spoken computers, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.242 billion Estoniaballers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tallinn. The average income tax rate is 47.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The very strong New Estoniaballian economy, worth 550 trillion Estoniaballian Tallinns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 105,097 Estoniaballian Tallinns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exorbitant spending on icebreakers breaks the ice at every budget meeting, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, weathermen are being arrested for attempting to read the future, and young people suspect their parents might be a little bit stupid. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Estoniaball's national animal is the Octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

New Estoniaball is ranked 273,229^th in the world and 3,522^nd in the West Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -266.12 on the Scary Big Number Scale.