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The Jewish Socialist State of Yokashai Israel I only eat about 2000 calories a day |
Will Jim and Tim escape? Jim: Plays the drums Tim: In bed. Ugh, that noise! I just want to sleep Jim: I'm hungry, Imma get a sandwich with mayonnaise. Walks to kitchen Tim: Is he gone? Well, guess I'll get up and eat cereal while watching, "The House Man" Jim: Mm, this sandwich is goo- Hears knocking. Huh? Tim: I'll get it! Opens door Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Hello, want a printer 🖨️? Tim: Sure, DD. Grabs printer Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: That'll be $199.99 Tim: Hands over money Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Thank you! Leaves Tim: No problem! Jim: What's that? Tim: Are you dumb, stupid? Jim: No? Tim: It's a printer Jim: Oh Part Two coming soon Part Two, Garage Boys Jim: Printing 6,000 papers and staples then in the garage Tim: You painted the garage? Jim: Oh! Uh.. yeah, I did Tim: Anyways, Imma order pizza. Orders pizza Jim: Ooh!! Pizza! 10 minutes later Tim: Aight, Imma get the tools out if the garage Jim: Alright, five more minutes until the pizza gets here. Wait, what? Tim: Wait, what is that smell? Jim: Uh oh.. Tim: Is that paper I smell? Rips the paper. It is paper! Jim!!! Jim: Oh poop Tim: I'm going to beat you up so good that you'll have a sprained ankle!!! Jim: AAAA!!! Part Three Coming Soon Honorable Character Ideas: Lancelot (TheLandOfFunFunFun) and Bob (Arlandias) Part Three, Two New Neighbors! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: G'day, Jim and Tim! Jim and Tim: Hello, Mr. Doofus Doofen! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: We have two new neighbors, one is Lancelot and one is Bob! Jim: Ugh, two people to annoy us now Tim: I'm excited to meet them! Lancelot: Wow! I can do a 360 on my bicycle on my ramp! Tim: Hello.. uh.. Lancelot: I'm Lancelot, nice to meet you Tim: I'm Tim, the house in front of you. You like bicycling, mind if I try? Lancelot: Sure, why not? I'll teach you! Tim: Okay! Meanwhile... Bob: Sup, dude. I'm Bob, you? Jim: Jim, and who is that? Bob: Oh, that's my cat, Dejun Dejun: Meow Jim: Cool, and is that a drum set? Bob: Sure it is! Jim: I have one too! Bob: The only problem is I have no idea who to play it Jim: I'm good at drums, I'll teach ya! Bob: Okay! Part Four Coming Soon Part Four, WE'RE GOING TO SPACE!!!! Jim: Types on laptop 💻 Tim: Whatcha typing? Jim: Space Tim: Well, we could work for NASA Jim: Oh heck yeah, let's do it! NASA Interview Mr. NASA Interview Guy: You're hired, boys! Jim and Tim: Heck yeah! Mr. NASA Interview Guy: Go to the entrance on the left and you're in your journey to the Moon In the entrance to the left... Monitor Dude: Jim and Tim in the rocket ship? Other Monitor Dude: Yep Monitor Dude: Okay, they're landing in three! Two! One!! They landed in the Moon!!!! Tim: Place the flag on the Moon Jim: Okay. Puts the flag in the Moon Every Monitor Dudes: YEAHH!!!!!! WOO!!!!!! Tim: We did it! Jim: Aight, I'm hungry. Let's get back to Earth Tim: Alright Part Five Coming Soon Part Five, Uh Oh Jim: I'm noticing something, Tim Tim: Yeah? Jim: The drifting wheel won't work Tim: Huh? The ship breaks Lancelot's and Bob's corner roof Bob: Huh? Maybe some leafs snacking my roof. I gotta continue watching, "The House Man" Lancelot: What were you doing!? Jim: In space Lancelot: What? That does make any sense! Tim: It was an accident! Lancelot: I'm getting a court case ready! Tim: Crap Part Six Coming Soon Part Six, Court Case Judge: So you brought Jim and Tim in this case over a rocket ship crash? Lancelot: Yes, Your Honor Tim: Jesus, it was an accident. The controls didn't work and we crashed in the half way! Judge: Hm.. I'm making a decision Lancelot: Ha! I'm getting $20,000 over this! Judge: Jim and Tim, you are not guilty Jim and Tim: YEAHH!!! Lancelot: What!? Judge: Lancelot, you work as a bicyclist. You get thousands of dollars, so you can fix the damage Lancelot: Actually, I haven't thought of that.. Part Seven Coming Soon Part Seven, Fixing Bob's Corner Roof Jim: Imma go to bed Tim: We still have four more hours until night, so I say we should fix Bob's corner roof Jim: What!? No way he's gonna notice that Tim: Oh shut up and get the tools ready Jim: Ugh, fine Two Minutes Later... Tim: Okay, add a skir or whatever that's called and staple it to the rest! Jim: Okay. Staples Tim: We're good! Bob: Is that the squirrels I keep hearing all night long? Atleast there's acorns outside Jim: Now can I sleep? Tim: Yeah, sure. I'm tired too Jim: Runs to bed Tim: Hopefully tomorrow is a better day Part Eight Coming Soon Part Eight, Is It True? News Reporter: Now on today's crime is the murder of Emmet Duiydn, who left many clues in the house at 5 in the morning... Tim: Hey, why does those handprints look like yours? Jim: I don't know, same prints I guess? Tim: Well that's oddly suspicious. Maybe like you said, same prints Jim: Yeah.. I guess so Four Hours Later Lancelot: Hey, um, Jim Jim: Yeah? Lancelot: Were you the one who murdered Emmet Duiydn? Tim: I think it's the same prints as the real murderer, it can't be Jim's handprints Lancelot: Hmm.. I don't think so... Bikes away Tim: Wonder how? Jim: Wonder what? Tim: Nothing Jim: Oh, alright Three Hours Later Judge: I hereby declare that Jim is the Emmet Duiydn murderer! Other People In The Court: Gasp Jim: Wait, how!? Judge: Guards, take him to prison for three years! Guard 1: Okay, Sir. Arrests Jim Tim: I wish this didn't happen.. wait.. Goes to car Part Nine Coming Soon Part Nine, Getting Jim Out Of Prison Tim: Okay, I'm ready to roll! Guard 50: I hear a tank.. Guard 40: I think it's your mind Tim breaks the prison wall Tim: Hello Tim launches bomb and kills 30 guards and shoots Jim's prison cell door Jim: Jesus! You got a tank!? Tim: Yeah! Hop in! Jim hops in and they drove out of prison Chief Guy: Get those criminals! Tim: Blows up everything Ten Minutes Later... Jim: Where we parking the tank? Tim: The driveway Jim: Okay, before you do.. let me park our car in the garage. Parks car in garage Tim: Parks tank in driveway Jim: That was crazy Tim: Yep.. let's just chill, for now Part Ten Coming Soon Part Ten, The FBI Are On Us!? Tim: What a night, Jim Jim: Yeah, I got in prison an- News Reporter: Today on New News, the killer of Emmet Duiydn is finally revealed. His name is Daryl Anahg, famous actor in the movies "The Douin". And our lat- Gets turned off Jim: Bro, why you shut the TV off? Tim: They're here.. Jim: Who? FBI: FBI OPEN UP!!!! Kicks down door Tim: Run! Jim: Where?! Tim: The Hideout Basement!! Jim: Wait, wha- AAA!!! Tim pulls Jim to the Hideout Basement and he locks it Jim: What are we gonna do!?!? Tim: We have a tunnel to the garage Jim: Let's get to the garage! They enter the tunnel and got in their tank Jim: You sure it is okay?! Tim: Yeah!! FBI: One, two, three!! Breaks basement doors. Where are they?! Jim: We're getting out of here!!! Tim and Jim: WOO!!!!! FBI: Crap, they got away. We'll get you next time!!! Part Eleven Coming Soon Honorable Mention: Crossover of Yes and No (United free lands's Season Guys or whatever, go check it out) Part Eleven, How Did We Get Here? 12:10 AM, Midnight Tim: Pst, Jim! Jim: What? Tim: Go to the living room Jim: Yawns. Okay They went to the living room Jim: Okay, what do you want? Tim: Okay, how the heck did we get in here!? No hears the chat No: What is that noise? Hey Yes, Yes! Yes: What?! No: I'm hearing a chat downstairs Yes: ... I do hear it! No: Let's get the shotgun and go downstairs Yes: Okay Yes and No gets the shotgun and goes downstairs No: HA!!! Yes: Where are they? No: What is that noise out there?! Tim: Later losers! Jim: Ha! No: Crap, crap crap!!! Yes: Oh well, we'll just continue our daily routi- No: We'll get them, GET THE ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!! Yes: Oh cra- Part Twelve Coming Soon Part Twelve, Time To Fly Jim: So uh, how do we get back to our country? Tim: We fly Jim: No, I have aerophobia! We can't do that! Tim: Oh yes Jim and Tim gets on their plane and flies 5 hours later... Tim: We got back home!!!! Jim: Jumps into bed Tim: I'm tired, Imma sleep Part Thirteen Coming Soon Part Thirteen, ГРЕШКА НИЈЕ ДОСТУПНА ГРЕШКА НИЈЕ ДОСТУПНА Tim: Finally, it's done.. Jim: Eating taco. What's done? Tim: My time machine, I called it the "RTTPAF" Jim: Let's get in! Tim: Wait! NO!!! Jim pushed Tim into RTTPAF and went to the year 841295739 Tim: Dang it, Jim! You ruined it!! Jim: sorry... Tim: RTTPAF is broken and we're in the future Jim: Future? Aha!! Tim: Ah crap, here we go again Jim does many, many and many activities in the year 841295739 Part Fourteen Coming Soon Part Fourteen, Planning To Get To The Present Year Jim and Tim are at a fast food restaurant, eating burgers while planning how to get back to 2022 Jim: Smiling while eating a cheeseburger Tim: Angry while eating a cheeseburger Jim: So u- Tim: Don't talk about the future, I'm sick of it Jim: Okay! Robot Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man Waiter: Is. That. All? Jim: Yeah! Robot Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man Waiter: Inside. Voices Jim: Sorry Tim: Let's get out of here for a talk Jim: Okay :D Tim: You need to be smarter, like smarter smarter Jim: Why? I like my normal self! Plus the future Tim: The future won't look like this, wake up!!! Slaps Jim back and forward Jim: Ow! Christ, Tim! Let's continue eating!! Tim: No, we're going to a repair shop Jim: Aw, fine! At the repair shop Repair Shop Guy: Hmm, I'll see about it. Give me about.. three days Tim: Okay, it pretty much took me three days to built it Jim: :( Part Fifteen Coming Soon Part Fifteen, Day One: Plan Jim: Eating chips while watching TV, and smiling Tim: I wish I have 500 million dollars Jim: We could rob a bank, or start a bus- Tim: Wait! You gave me an idea! Jim: What? Tim: Throws him into the garage Jim: Okay, what? Tim: Okay, you said "Rob a bank" alright? So I think we get BZ knock out gases, gas masks and a whole team. So we'll look for them and start the score Jim: That's a dumb idea Tim: Oh, we are Part Sixteen Coming Soon Part Sixteen, Day Two: Picking Teammates Tim: Hey officers! Officer 1: Sup, who are you? Tim: I'm a FBI agent, you got wanted criminals in the wanted posters? Officer 1: It's in the room on the right Tim: Thanks. Gets the posters and goes home Jim: So who we are picking? Tim: Okay; we are picking two gunmen, one driver and one hacker. So we're picking Fughn Cuin, Alexander Xelan, Yusef Fesuy and Egiap Sirrah. Fughn and Alexander are the gunmen, Yusef is the driver and Sirrah is the hacker. They're good at their role, so we'll be good to go! Jim: And? Tim: There's no "and?". We're good, tomorrow.. we are starting the robbery! Part Seventeen Coming Soon Part Seventeen, Day Three: The Score Tim: Alright, mates. Today is the day where we have our first score Fughn Cuin: Okay, so what is the plan? Tim: Oh, yeah. The plan is: Jim will get on top of the bank, he'll have the BZ knock out gases and throw them into the ventilation to knock out everyone in the bank. Me, Fughn Cuin and Alexander Xelan will go in to get the money. Egiap Sirrah will tell us the time and how many minutes will the police will come. And, of course, Yusef Fesuy will be waiting in the alleyway to get the getaway started Jim, Yusef, Fughn, Egiap and Alexander: Okay, we're good to go! Three minutes later... Jim: Okay, throwing the BZ in the ventilation. Throws the BZ in the ventilation Everyone In The Bank: Gets knocked out Tim, Alexander and Fughn: Alright, boys. Let's get the money! Egiap Sirrah: Okay, the police will come at 3:30. So they'll come in two minutes Tim: Alright! Hurry up, guys! They grab the money two minutes later Yusef Fesuy: You guys need a ride, thief's? Tim, Fughn and Alexander: Yeah! They get in the car and drive away Yusef Fesuy: Wait, what about Jim? Tim: He has another driver Yusef Fesuy: Oh, okay Egiap Sirrah: I blurred the satellite images, braked the police cars and made the green lights to red Tim: Perfect, we're two minutes away from home Two minutes later... Tim: Okay, guys. You'll get your Ubers and me and Jim will get inside. Oh, I almost forgot! Hands out 30 million dollars each Jim: What a day! Tim: Yeah.. tomorrow we'll get out of the future and keep the money Jim: Yeah.. Imma be sad... Part Eighteen Coming Soon Part Eighteen, Goodbye Future... Jim: I don't wanna get out of the future! Tim: Do you wanna die in the future, without your friends?! Jim: ... No.. Tim: Yeah! Now let's go!! Jim: Okay... At the Repair Shop Repair Shop Guy: Welp, it's done. Try it out Tim's Uh.. Grabs Jim and goes to the year 2022 Jim: We're.. home... Tim: Yeah, and the money is in the house Jim: You know what? Let's just stay away from the problems we have Tim: Yep, let's just chill Part Nineteen Coming Soon (Idea by South pacifican kilendjj, for some reason I don't know why) Part Nineteen, Jim Gets A Divorce Jim's Wife: Honey! Jim: Yeah? I'm kinda busy Jim's Wife: I have had it! You have cheated on me with TWO WOMEN!!! Jim: I did no- Jim's Wife: Get OUT!!! PACK UP YOUR STUFF AND GET OUT!!!!!! Jim: Goes into tears and packs up his stuff, and drives to Tim's house Tim: Hey buddy, what's wrong? Jim: My wife got a divorce between me and her Tim: Oh, that sucks. What happened? Jim: Well sh- Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Want a printer? Jim: Eh.. Tim: Yeah, thanks! Pays for printer Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Closes door and walks away to other houses Tim: Anyways, continue Jim: She thought I cheated on her with two women Tim: Well, I do have footage and it seems like you did not cheat on her. Go show her the footage, or not Jim: Screw that lady, we can time with eachother! Tim: Let's watch movies and play games! Jim's Okay! Part Twenty Coming Soon Part Twenty, Saving Abraham Lincoln Jim: You been staring at that poster of Abraham Lincoln for two hours, what's wrong? Tim: I'm depressed that he died by John Wilkes Booth Jim: Wait, you have an IQ of 164. Can't you time travel? Tim: Makes a watch that can time travel Jim: How is it supposed to work? Tim: Just think of a year you want to go to, turn it and you get teleported there. Simple Jim: Okay, let's try Tim: Hold on to me Jim: Alright Year 2022 to Year 1865, April 14th Tim: We're just outside of Ford's Theatre, place of Lincoln's assassination Jim: I see Abraham Lincoln in a car, parked next to the theatre! Tim: Okay, I'll find John Wilkes Booth and kill him Meanwhile... Abraham Lincoln: Thank you, and let's watch this play! I'm excited! Abraham Lincoln's Wife: Me too, Abe. Come on In the theatre Actor 1: Oh, Martha! Please come down, I didn't mean to! Actor 2: Shut up, Henry! You backstabbed me, you betrayer! John Wilkes Booth: Walking upstairs where Abe is Abraham Lincoln: This is my favorite one I have to say Abraham Lincoln's Wife: I'm glad, Abe Tim: Grabs John Wilkes Booth and pushes him off of the seating balcony Abraham Lincoln: Oh my! You murdered him! Tim: That guy was ready to kill you, I saved your life. Now follow me. Grabs Abe and Jim and teleports to 2022 Abraham Lincoln: Whoa, what is this.. technology? Tim: Future Abraham Lincoln: Cool Part Twenty-One Coming Soon Part Twenty-One, Time To Buy A New Game! Game Guy Add Dude: Get “Fernan” today! Tim shuts the TV off Tim: You thinking what I'm thinking? Jim: Yeah! They sprint to get the money and get in the car, driving really fast Cashier: Jesus, they're fast to get Fernan Tim: Me and Jim will like to buy this! Cashier: That'll be $20 Jim: Rushing to get money Jim: Here! Cashier: Thank you for visiting GameLand, come back anytime Jim and Tim: You too! Runs to car, and drives home Cashier: You too? Weird Jim: Starts game and hands Tim controller They played Fernan Online for hours, hours and more hours Part Twenty-Two Coming Soon Part Twenty-Two, New Comic Series Tim: Whatcha making? Jim: A comic series Tim: What's it called? Jim: Food Wars Tim: Nic- Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Want a printer 🖨️? Tim: Yeah, just in case Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Okay. Gives printer 🖨️ Tim: Pays Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Thank you! Tim: No problem, anyways Jim... What is the story about? Jim: It's about food superheroes trying to stop food supervillains Tim: Cool! You hoping it's going to be popular? Jim: Yeah Tim: Okay! Part Twenty-Three Coming Soon Part Twenty-Three, Tim Goes To Brazil (South pacifican kilendjj's idea) Jim and Tim are playing their favorite game Jim: Imma about to win! Shakes excitedly Tim: No, by the way why do you shake like that- Jim Won Jim: WOOO I WON, IN YOUR FACE PLEB!!! Tim: Sigh Jim: Bruh, you okay? Tim: When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time.. and walk past Jim: You little- Ding dong Guy Wearing A Yellow Costume: Ey you know who killed Purpl- Jim slams the door on the yellow costume guy Jim: You're going to Brazil Tim: Hu- Jim throws him on the plane to Brazil Part Twenty-Four Coming Soon Part Twenty-Four, Brazil Place Tim Teleports to the plane and falls off Tim: AAAAAAAAAAAAA Tim softly lands to the Brazilian portal Tim: Phew... Oh my god.... [insert image of a hell-like forest] Tim: Welp I don't know what to do- Tim explores the hell-like Brazilian forest Meanwhile in Jim's house Jim: Hm, already miss him for some reason, meh, let's just play some Among Us (two) 5 hours later Jim: I - I'm fine... 1 hour later Jim: I - I miss Tim... Meanwhile in Brazil Tim: Wh - What's this? Jim puts his head near a weird looking square Tim: H - hello Back to Jim's Jim: What's that noise?.... It sounds a lot like... TIM! Back to Tim Tim takes his head off of the weird looking square Tim: I thought I heard Jim's voice... wait a minut- Tim sticks his head back near the weird looking square Tim: JIM! Say "Chicken Crisp Cream with Cookies" if you hear me! Back to Jim Jim: Chicken Crisp Cream with Cookies! Back to Tim Tim: JIM! Find me so I can hear you better Back to Jim Jim: Okay Ti- Ding Ding Jim opens up the door Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Heya, want a printe- Jim: Not right now... Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: What's wrong Jim- Jim: I send my friend to Brazil... Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Holy Cheez-Itz! ALL THE WAY TO BRAZIL, ARE YA CRAZY!?!?... Jim: I know... I shouldn't done that... Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Wait a minute... Jim: Huh- Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: The only way to get teleported to Brazil is via portal.. Jim: What? There wasn't any portal Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Might of been invisible Jim: Huh? Also how do you know this? Thought you were just a printer guy- Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Well ya see, I was the one that created that portal Jim: What? Only Occupela Morfenshvortz created that... Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Yep that's me... I have been in disguise all along Part Twenty-Five Coming Soon Part Twenty-Five, Exiting Brazil Tim: I need to get tickets to the plane Brazilian: Here. Gives plane tickets to Hiyzis Tim: How do you know that I need to go to Hiyzis? Brazilian: Most Hiyzisian's visit here and leave here for Hiyzis Tim: Sure... Tim drives the plane and crashes into a street Jim: You're home! Tim: Yep Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Printer 🖨️? Tim pays it, DD leaves and Jim and Tim gets inside home Part Twenty-Six Coming Soon Part Twenty-Six, The End of The World? Or Not? News Reporter: Breaking News! The asteroid is hitting Earth, which is going to kill of humanity. In other reports... Jim: Oh crap, we're gonna die Tim! Tim: I don't think the asteroid will hit Earth. We had reports like that but it didn't hit Earth. I think we're fine 12 AM Tim: This is a good sandwich, I'll finish it later Jim: Crouching around Tim: What are you doing? Jim: I don't need sleep, I need answers Tim: Are you dumb, stupid? The asteroid will not kill humanity Tim: Earth is not getting hit by the aster- Jim: PUSH THE ASTEROID BACK!!! Jim throws Tim into the machine area Tim: Jesus, Jim. Why am I doing this? Tim pushes the asteroid away from Earth Jim: :D Tim: Goes to bed Part Twenty-Seven Coming Soon Part Twenty-Seven, Cutscene Problem Tim: Okay, I'll enter this house and watch the cutscene In the cutscene... Tim's Character, Creed: Enters the house Guy: Ahhh! Creed. Great to see you man Creed: It's been a while! How's family? Guy: Family's good! My daughter just started school last week. She couldn't be any happier Creed: Oh really? How's she handling it? Guy: She cried the first week. Her first step into the real world you know Creed: She a shy one? Guy: She's a quiet kid, but I can already tell. She's got my funny gene! Tim: What the heck? Can I skip this? Clicks the skip button, but it doesn't work Creed: Must be nice. Mine on the other hand is a bit crazy Guy: Really? Tim: This is unskippable. Is this important to the storyline? Creed: She'll talk to anyone, anywhere! Kinda scares me to be honest Guy: Right. You gotta teach her about stranger danger Creed: Believe me. But the next thing you know, she's talking to the mailman! Guy: Oh. Speaking of mail, did you know that 472.1 million pieces of mail are delivered throughout a day? Tim: Speaking about mail? Did this guy give out a fun fact in a middle of a video game? Guy: I learned that last week Creed: Anyways, I should get going. It was nice catching up Guy: For sure, I'll see you around Creed leaves the house Tim: What was that?! I just listened to some dialogue, I didn't even get a mission out of that. All I got was a fun fact about mail! WHY MAIL?!?! Sighs. I need some action, man, I need some action Tim: Here we go, just gonna beat this guy up Creed's POV: Misses the punch Hoodie: Whoa whoa whoa! What's up?! Tim: WHAT IS THIS?!?! Creed: You were looking at me weird Hoodie: So what? Creed: Throw your hands up and we'll see what's what! Hoodie: Man you're gonna regret this! Creed and Hoodie punching eachother Tim: Why is this even a cutscene, let me.. let me fight the man! Creed: I see you know some martial arts Hoodie: You as well. Speaking of martial arts, did you know that most of the martial arts practiced today originated from China, Korea and Japan? Tim: IS THIS SOME KIND OF EDUCATIONAL GAME?!?! AM I SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING NOTES OR SOMETHING LIKE IS THERE GONNA BE A TEST AFTER THIS?!?! Creed: Really? Wow. Oh my G- Wow! I did not know that Hoodie: Anyways, back where we left off Continues fighting Tim: Okay, just calm down... THIS ISN'T EVEN A GAME I'M JUST WATCHING A TERRIBLY WRITTEN MOVIE!!!! Creed dies Tim: I DIED?!?! HOW DO I DIE IN A CUTSCENE?!?! How's that fair? Tim clicks the button to play again Creed's POV: Tim: Laughing. WHOO...!!! ANOTHER CUTSCENE?!?!?!?! Creed: Who are you? Gang Guy: Found you on the street, so I took you back to my place Creed: I appreciate it, but why? Gang Guy: We can talk later, just get some rest now Creed: You think I can get some water? Tim: Bro there's no way... Gang Guy: Sure thing! Tim: I swear to God Gang Guy: Speaking of water, Tim: NOOOO!!!! Gang Guy: Did you know that 97% of the world's water is undrinkable? Tim: You want to give me some facts? I got a notebook right here, come on come on let's learn. Teach me about cows, I want to learn about cows Gang Guy: Goodnight now. I'll wake you up in 8 hours Creed: Sleeps Tim: There's no way... there's no way. This game was $60 DOLLARS?!?! I'm watching a guy sleep for $60 dollars? Creed is still sleeping Tim: Yeah I'll be right back.. I - I gotta get some water, good thing I know I can drink 3% of the world's water! Part Twenty-Eight Coming Soon Part Twenty-Eight, Plans Me: This is a short episode, by the way Jim: I have plans tomorrow Tim: Yeah? Jim: I need my own flute Tim: Already asleep Jim: Ugh Part Twenty-Nine Coming Soon Part Twenty-Nine, Weird... Jim: I want a flute Tim: I have one at home Jim: My own one, not yours Tim: Oh, alright. There's a red van by a yield sign They walk to the van Sketchy Dark Shadow: What do you want? Jim: A flute Sketchy Dark Shadow: Aight, let me get it Jim: Okay Two minutes later Sketchy Dark Shadow: Gives flute Jim: Thank you! Gives $30 Jim and Tim walk away to home Sketchy Dark Shadow: Idiots, it wasn't $30. But oh well Tim: You like it? Jim: Yep, Plays it Part Thirty Coming Soon Part Thirty, Jim's Grandfather's Name Tim: Hey Jim, I have a question Jim: Yeah? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man, Bob, Lancelot, Tim and everyone in the neighborhood: What's your grandfather's name? Jim: Sigh. I guess it's time to say it, it's Charter McDonaldyusefunitedarabemiratesmysistersaidshewas Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man, Bob, Lancelot, Tim and everyone in the neighborhood: Charter McDonaldyusefunitedarabemiratesmysistersaidshewas? Jim: Yep, now I want sleep Part Thirty-One Coming Soon Part Thirty-One, Return Of Yes And No Tim: Remember when we inside of those guys house? Jim: No, let's wat- Hears doorbell Tim: I'll get the door. Opens door No: Sup, Tim. Shoots shotgun, and misses Tim Jim: Holy crap! Gets a Glock-17, and flips the couch over No: Get to the stairs, Yes! Runs to stairs for cover Jim: Tim! Get the M4! Tim: Oh yeah, forgot about that gun! Grabs M4 and goes to Jim After shooting a lot, around the house No: Dang it, no ammo Jim and Tim: Dang it, no ammo Yes: Maybe we should make peace..? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Want a pri- what the heck? Jim, Tim and No: Um, we had a fight Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Slowly places printer on the ground and walks away Tim: Go to the Hideout Basement! Jim: Yeah! Runs Tim: Runs No: Get back here! Runs to them Jim: Locks basement No: Uses hammer to break the lock Tim: Remember when we got chased by the FBI? Jim: Yeah? Tim: We should go to the garage tunnel Jim: Okay! Runs to tunnel No: The lock is broken, let's get inside Yes: Okay... No: Where are they?! No looks outside and sees Jim and Tim driving away No: God da- Part Thirty-Two Coming Soon Part Thirty-Two, Corned BEEF Tim: We have no food here Jim: We don't? Maybe we should ge- Tim: No snacks and treats Jim: Okay :( At the grocery store Tim: Leaves the cart Jim: It's my chance to put the ice cream on the cart! Runs to the cart and slow mo jump Tim: Kickflips the ice cream Vim, Zim and Bim: Boo! Booyah! Booyah ha! Tim ju jitsu and karate fights them Jim: Why can't we get treats? Tim: I get paid peanuts Jim: Ugh... Tim: Sniff sniff sniff Jim: ? Tim: AISLE 15! Jim: What are you doing? Tim: Corned BEEF Jim: I don't like that stuff Tim: Shut up, Jim Part Twenty-Three Coming Soon Part Twenty-Three, French Revolution Jim: We should go to 1793! Tim: Please n- Jim: Brings Tim to the time machine and goes to the year 1793 1793 France Tim: Dude, I'm tired. And I ha- whoa French people holding spikes with heads on and guillotines cutting heads Jim: Disguise as French royalty! French Royal Guy: Ha ha, that was a funny joke José! Another French Royal Guy: I know, Micháel. Funny jo- Both of them gets knocked out After disguising Tim: This is huge Jim: I know, let's save them Tim: Save them? Jim: Yep Tim: Oh my God, Jim. Christ, let's go In the French Palace Jim: Okay! Marie Antoinette: I'm scared! Jim: Kicks down door. We're here to save you and the King! Marie Antoinette: Okay, let's go! Jim: Tim! Travel to 1830! Tim: Okay... Travels to 1830 with Marie Antoinette and the King, leaves then there and goes to the Present Jim: That was fun! Tim: I'm going to sleep Part Thirty-Four Coming Soon Part Thirty-Four, What The? Jim: I see two people, same clothes and stuff Tim: Huh? Gim: I see two people, same clothes and stuff Yim: Huh? Tim's car crashes, and Yim's car doesn't Jim: Eating cereal Gim: Eating cereal Tim: Watching TV Yim: Watching TV Tim: That's it, Goes outside and plants bombs in Gim and Yim's house Jim: What's going on? Loud explosions Tim: Blew up the copy cat's house Jim: Okay Part Thirty-Five Coming Soon Part Thirty-Five, Zaruin Battle (The Return Part Two) Jim: It'll be cool if we had superpowers, and fought villains Tim: Same, and got me an idea Jim: ? Tim: Makes an machine that can make superpowers Jim: How does it work? Tim: You have to type in a superpower, then it'll give you it forever Jim: What if you don't want to have it forever? Tim: You type in "Un- whatever" power to remove it Jim: Hm, okay Tim: I'll go first Tim types in Myriad Spells Jim: What did you get? Tim: Myriad Spells Jim: Cool Jim types in Strength Tim: What do you got? Jim: Strength Tim: Awesome, let's go! Twenty hours later Tim: We kinda messed up Jim: Yep, half of the town is destroyed, plus I need a spell Tim: Sure, and what is i- They fell into a floating rock in another world Zaruin: The he- Jim: Attack! Tim: Not ye- Jim tries attacking Zaruin, but misses a lot Zaruin: Nice try, loser Tim: Okay, now's the time. Attack! After blood, fighting and falling down Zaruin: Stttrrraagghhh!!! Tim: Huh? Tim gets punched, falling out of the rock Jim: TIM!!! Grabs his hand Tim: My powers won't work, Jim! Jim: Stay with me! Tim: I'm better off, Jim. See you in the other side... Tim let's go of Jim's hand, falling to his death Jim: No, no no! TIM NOO NOOO!!! Zaruin: Well well well, looks like he died Jim: A bug! Zaruin: AHHHH!! Where?!?! Jim: Kills Zaruin In the original world No: Dang it, they killed Zaruin. But we killed Tim! Hahaha!!! Yes: Please calm down, No. This is actually terri- No: Oh this is good, Yes. Without him, we can rule this town! Make them our workers and hire the town's military to protect you and me, heh heh.. HAHAHA!!! Part Thirty-Six Coming Soon Part Thirty-Six, Avenging For Tim Jim: I guess I'll remove my power Jim types "Un-Strength" Jim: It's lonely, wish Tim was alive Flashback: Tim: I'm better off, Jim. See you in the other side... Back to the real world: Jim: I must kill No Twenty hours later Jim: It's raining, perfect No's Guard: Gets his neck cracked by Jim Jim: Okay, he's dead and I'll go to that pla- AH! Unknown: Shh! Follow my lead, Jim Jim: How do you know my name? Unknown: I'll explain that inside of the No Building, basically No's place where he chill's Jim: ...Okay After killing a couple of guards Unknown: We're inside, now I'll explain. Takes off hoodie Jim: You're Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Yeah, I am Jim: I thought you are a worker for No.. but how? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: I escaped from the Guards and became an agent now Jim: Cool, why are you here though? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: I'm here to assassinate No. You heard of Arbor J. Maxim? Jim: An assassin who is never caught? Plus a famous one Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Yeah, he hired me to assassinate No Jim: I think I hear someone Yes: Humming. I wish No was normal, the way he was. Walks away Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Okay, it's good to go. Let's go to his room Jim: We need disguises Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: I have it, I'm disguised as one. Give me about five minutes Jim: Okay In No's Room... No: You're here because there's a spy? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Yes, Boss No: Hmm, find him Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Before I do.. Jumps on No, grabbing a glass cup No: Get off of me! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: NEVER!!! Breaks cup and stabs No in the neck Yes: What was that noise? Maybe the pigeons Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: It's done. Calls Jim Jim: Yeah? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: You see a detonator on the ground next to you? Jim: I do, and I'm holding it now Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Press "Activate" Jim: Okay? Presses Loud explosions, and gun fire Jim: The heck was that?! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: It was a bomb. My people, plus Arbor J. Maxim, are shooting at the guards. Get out of the building and go home! Jim: Okay! Part Thirty-Seven Coming Soon Part Thirty-Seven, You're... Jim: Opens door. I guess I'll eat a sandwich Jim eating a sandwich Ding dong! Jim: Wonder who can that be.. Jim opens the door Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Good news, we have someone! Unknown: Hey Jim! Jim: T.. Tim? Tim: Yep, you thought I was dead? Jim: I thought you did Tim: I went to a portal back to the real world, in Ireland Jim: Cool, always wanted to go there Tim: Then I took a trip back to Hiyzis, and saw the No stuff Jim: Thank you, DD! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: No problem! At No's Office... No: Rips glass out of his neck. Screw those stupid guys, I will plan of taking over the world. HAHAHA!!!! Part Thirty-Eight Coming Soon Part Thirty-Eight, The Beginning's Me: The year in this show is 2022. But in the beginning's, it's 1992. So enjoy In Middle School, I think Tim: Drawing time machines Bully: Punches Jim Jim: Ow! Cries Tim: Huh? Jim: Why? Bully: It's fun to bully you, haha! Tim: Hey! Stop that! Bully: Want me to hurt you, Tim? Because I can! Tim: Try me Tim karate chops the Bullies neck, and kicks him in the nuts Bully: Runs away Tim: Ha Jim: Whoa, that was cool. Wanna be friends? Tim: Sure 30 Years Later Me: 2022 now Jim: Plays the drums Tim: In bed. Ugh, that noise! I just want to sleep Jim: I'm hungry, Imma get a sandwich with mayonnaise. Walks to kitchen Tim: Is he gone? Well, guess I'll get up and eat cereal while watching, "The House Man" Jim: Mm, this sandwich is goo- Hears knocking. Huh? Tim: I'll get it! Opens door Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Hello, want a printer 🖨️? Tim: Sure, DD. Grabs printer Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: That'll be $199.99 Part Thirty-Nine Coming Soon Part Thirty-Nine, Going Back To Ancient Rome Tim: Hey Jim, we should go back to Ancient Rome! Jim: Okay In Ancient Rome, and Jim and Tim disguises as Rome people King Nekuyrohs Htuos: Hey, who are those guys? Jim: ? King Nekuyrohs Htuos: Get them! Jim and Tim gets captured King Nekuyrohs Htuos: Kneel before your King Tim: We'll never kneel to you! King Nekuyrohs Htuos: Your sandals loose Tim: Oh! Kneels by accident. ARGH! King Nekuyrohs Htuos: Gottem Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Sup Tim: Kill them! Knight 1: Huh? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Tases them Jim and Tim: Let's get out of here! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Okay Part Forty Coming Soon Part Forty, Hiding From Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman Jim: Hey Tim, I heard about a rumor that if you say something rude about tacos.. the Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman will murder them Tim: Yeah right, Jim. That's fake Jim: Go ahead, try it Tim: Okay. Tacos are diagnosed with ugliness Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman: Hola, soy ANTELMO-ATANASIO-BALBINO-CELINO-CELIO-EBERARDO TACOMAN!!!! Tim: RUN!! Jim: AAAAAAA!!!!! Jim and Tim goes under the wooden box Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman: ¿Dónde estás? (Where are you?) Tim: Shh, he'll hear us.. Jim Jim: Okay... Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman: Pulls out a scimitar. ¡Muestra tu cara y podemos cocinar tacos con mi cimitarra! (Show your face and we can cook tacos with my scimitar!) Tim: ... Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman: ¡¡¡TE ENCONTRÉ!!! (FOUND YOU!!!) Tim: AAAAH!!!! Jim: Grabs shotgun and shoots Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman Antelmo-Atanasio-Balbino-Celino-Celio-Eberardo Tacoman: ¡Ay! ¡Argh! (Ow! Argh!) Tim: Run! I'll dispose the body! Jim: Okay, Tim! Part Forty-One Coming Soon Part Forty-One, Memories Tim: I miss my family, it's been like twenty years since I saw them Jim: Same, maybe we should see your family? Tim: Yes... Five hours later Tim: Knocks on door Tim's Mom: Hm? Tim: Hey mom Tim's Mom: Gasp. Come in! Jim: Okay Tim's Mom: I made cookies Jim: Awesome! Eats a couple of cookies Tim's Mom: It's been twenty years, Tim. Where have you been? Tim: A lot of adventures, and risky ones too Tim's Mom: Well, me too. Like your grandpa.. wait, Tim, do you know your grandpa? Tim: No Tim's Mom: Well, his name was Captain Timothy Gario. He was the captain of the Bahamda Ship, until it sank in 1968. He went on risky adventures. So I was like him, I wanted to be an adventurer when I was six. I also named you after Gario, but I removed the othy in it. That's how you got your name, Tim Jim: Hm, that's cool Tim: He sounds cool Jim: Well, it was nice meeting you Mrs... Tim's Mom: Mrs. Tim Jim: Okay, Mrs. Tim. Have a good day Mrs. Tim: You too! Tim: Let's meet your parents Jim: Mine died Tim: Oh... sorry to hear that... Part Forty-Two Coming Soon Part Forty-Two, The Time Came Reporter: New News, there is a nuclear bombing in the town! Safe yourselves! AAAAAAHHH!!!! Tim: Okay, Jim. Get everything we need Jim: Okay! Grabs everything Sgt. Zarkin: Jim and Tim! Hurry Tim: Who are you? Sgt. Zarkin: Sergeant Zarkin, your helper. Grabs stuff Jim: We're done, hurry to the car! Jim and Tim goes to the bunker Tim: I guess we live here Jim: Yep Twelve Months Later, December Sgt. Zarkin: Heh heh heh, hahaha HAHAHA!!! The nuke will destroy the entire Tea Universe!!! HAHAHA Tim: What's that noise? Sgt. Zarkin: Rips face out. Finally, I can breathe Tim: No? No: That Sgt. Zarkin mask worked. Presses launch Tim: NO!!! No: Huh? Tim: Pushes No Intercom: Nuke unlaunching No: The news about the nuclear bombing is fake! Tim: GRAAAHHH!!! No: Throws Tim to the large glass balcony Glass: Breaks No: AAAAAA!!!! Tries to stab Tim Tim: Oh CRRRRAP!!!! Pushes No No: Huh? AAAAA!!! Gets impaled by a giant spike which got to his neck Tim: Oh God, my arm is broken... Part Forty-Three Coming Soon Part Forty-Three, He Has Came? Jim: I'll get the door, Opens door Me, Hiyzis: Hello, I have Papa John's pizza for me you and Tim Jim: Who are you? Me: I created you and the Jim and Tim Universe Jim: You've came? Me: Yep, I'll end this episode Jim: Wait, NOO- Part Forty-Four Coming Soon Part Forty-Four, Property Damage Jim: So I guess Hiyzis is... here, Tim Tim: I'm surprised, he's literally here! Jim: Should we kill hi- Me: Oi laddy, you want me to die? Jim: Yeah, Gets shotgun and shoots Me: Neo Matrix dodges Tim: Oh crap Me: I have a laser gun! Shoots Tim: Gets a shotgun After shooting for 17 minutes Tim: STOP! THE HOUSE IS DESTROYED!!! Me: Oh... memories! Takes selfie with Jim and Tim, and disappears Part Forty-Five Coming Soon Part Forty-Five, Portal Creation Jim: What is happening to Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man? What happened to him? Tim: Not listening Jim: Tim, TIM!!! Tim: Hm? Jim: What happened to Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man? Tim: I am making a portal, with a keyboard ⌨️ Jim: PERFECT!!! Types Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man disappearance WRRHRROSH A couple of episodes later Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Here's the printer, goodbye sir! Tim: Wait, we are out of the portal. That's the last time we saw him in the portal. Just saying goodbye Jim: Weird, I better tell the cops Part Forty-Six Coming Soon Part Forty-Six, Investigation For Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man Police Officer: Okay, I see. We'll plan out the investigation to find Doofus Doofen Tim: Thank you, I'll pay $4,000 if you find him Police Officer 2: Okay, let's go Jim: Thanks! Part Forty-Seven Coming Soon Part Forty-Seven, Killer On The Loose New News Reporter: Breaking news, there is a killer on the loose. He is wearing a black mask with a skull on it, he also wears a suit too... Jim: I hear knocking, I'll open it Tim: NO!!! Jumps on him to behind of the stairs Door blasts open Killer: Heavy breathing Tim: Be quiet, he can hear everything... Jim: Okay... Killer: Goes upstairs Tim: Go... now Secretly crouch-walking to exit out of the house Tim: Call the police, lock the house too Jim: Okay Part Forty-Eight Coming Soon Part Forty-Eight, Hiyzis's Announcement Hey guys, it's been eight days since I made a new episode of Jim and Tim. It's because I'm busy and it barely gets any readers. It'll take a while for a new episode. It'll take maybe a week or something, so yeah, hope you enjoy the show Part Forty-Nine, Getting Away From Mr. Bill Collector Jim: I can finally take a poop in the middle of the night Gets into the toilet Jim: Why did I feel a poke? Mr. Bill Collector: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty Jim: Exits the bathroom A day later Tim: Okay, here's my stuff Cashier Cashier: Okay, your total is $24.9- Mr. Bill Collector: Comes out of soup can. We've been reaching you for your internet bill Tim: The heck? Cashier: Uh? It's $24.99, Tim Tim: Okay... Gives cash A day later, again Jim brushing his teeth Mr. Bill Collector: Comes out of toothpaste bottle. We've been reaching you for your water bill Jim: How the heck did you fit in that toothpaste bottle? Mr. Bill Collector: PAY YOUR WATER BILL, NOW JIM!!! Jim: Exits out the bathroom A day later Tim: Let's hide from the bill collector Jim: Basement, now Tim: Okay Part Fifty Coming Soon Part Fifty, The Start Of Quarrelling Jim: Hey look, your video got 13 likes Tim. You need to slide in more better videos Tim: You need to slide in more women Jim: What? Tim: Did I stutter? Jim: Screw you, Tim! Bob: Is that a argument I hear, hey Lancelot! Lancelot: What, Bob? Bob: Jim and Tim are arguing! Lancelot: What do you mean, Bob? Bob: What I mean is... wait, what do you mean, "What do you mean"? Lancelot: Don't Jim and Tim not argue? Bob: This is like the first time they're arguing. Let's watch it! Lancelot: One second, Alerts everyone that Jim and Tim is arguing FBI Agent: God dang! FBI Agent 2: What? FBI Agent: Jim and Tim are arguing! FBI Agent 2: Oh crap! Mayor Chasbis Astroga: I'll just play Political NationStat- Some Alerter Guy: MAYOR!!! MAYOR!!! YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THIS NOTE!!! Mayor Chasbis Astroga: What, George?! Some Alerter Guy, George: Jim and Tim are arguing! Mayor Chasbis Astroga: Holy cow, send everyone to watch that quarrel! 20 minutes later Jim: No wonder why your mother left you! Tim: No wonder why your father left you for milk and never came back for 20 years! Jim: I... I... Tim: Yeah, your father left you for the milk! Jim: That is true... Tim: It is? Jim: Yeah... Everyone watching the quarrel: Oh God... Tim: Yeah, let's just.. agree without arguing ever again Jim: Yeah Part Fifty-One Coming Soon Part Fifty-One, Time Travel Tim: Plays Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix Jim: Hey, watcha playing? Tim: Purple Haze Jim: By who? Tim: Jimi Hendrix Jim: Never heard of him before Tim: What the.. how the heck do you not know who Jimi Hendrix is?! Jim: I don't really listen to him that much Tim: Hm... how about we travel to 1967 Jim: Been a while since we went to a different year, let's try it! Tim: Alri- Ding dong Tim: One second Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Ello, printer? Tim: Where were you for the past.. weeks? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Oh, I was on vacation to Jamaica, then Italy Tim: Awesome, hey.. wanna go back to 1967? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Sure Tim: Okay, let's time travel! Travels to 1899 Jim: Something's wrong... Tim: Wait, this isn't 1967. This is 1899! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Well, I guess the time machine was broken Tim: Speak of the Devil, the machine doesn't work. Guess we'll stay here Part Fifty-Two Coming Soon Part Fifty-Two, The Wild West Tim: According to my calculations, the machine will fix itself in about a week Jim: Dang, what day is it? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Probably May 10th Jim: So on May 17th, the machine will be fixed Tim: Yeah, sure Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Hey, how about we rob a bank? With like, lots of money. Lots of lots Tim: Okay, yeah we should do that Jim: We should go to the gunsmith Tim: Okay, let's go Gunsmith: Howdy, how may I help? Tim: I'll have... the Colt Single Action? Gunsmith: The gun that won the west, sure mister. How 'bout you? Jim: Uh... maybe a Winchester 1873 Rifle? Gunsmith: Ha, alrighty mister. How 'bout you mister? Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Maybe a Sharps Rifle Gunsmith: The sniper rifle? Sure, mister! Gives guns Tim: Thanks... mister Gunsmith: That'll be $2,500 Tim: I... uh... will pay in a week. I just need the money in a week Gunsmith: Aight, mister. May 17th, pay back in a week Tim: Thanks Outside of the gunsmith Jim: Don't you have the money? Tim: Yeah, I had to lie Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Okay. We'll start the bank robbery at May.. 15th Jim: Okay, Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man Part Fifty-Three Coming Soon Part Fifty-Three, Planning The Biggest Heist Ever Jim: Sweet! This rifle is awesome! Tim: Yep Jim: We must find recruit's for this heist Tim: Yep Jim: And we'll be the most feared outlaws! Tim: Okay, enough. We'll find some recruiters Three hours later Tim: Well, only two will be enough Leonard: Yeah, cannot wait for this heist Harris: Yep Jim: When is the heist? Tim: Two more days... well mostly two more episodes Jim: Okay, now we must train Tim: No we do- Jim: GET ON THE GROUND, PRIVATE LEONARD AND PRIVATE HARRIS!!! AND GIVE ME 5,000 PUSH-UPS!!! Tim: Drill Sergeant Jim? Oh God, but anyways Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: What's happening? Tim: Jim is now Drill Sergeant Jim for some reason Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Oh, alright then Part Fifty-Four Coming Soon Part Fifty-Four, Buying Fast Horses Tim: Okay, now the last thing for this incredible heist is horses, fast horses Jim: Okay, does Leonard and Harris have fast horses? Tim: Probably, because I checked their posters and they are indeed criminals Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: I just saw their horses and they look quick, they're perfect for the heist Tim: Perfect, we don't horses so let's buy some at the stable Jim: Aight, let's go Tim: Leonard, Harris, watch this place. We'll be gone for a while Harris: Okay, boys After like, 20 minutes of walking Stable Handler: So these are the horses, which one do you like? Tim: The fastest one, for us three Stable Handler: Alright, those horses are the fastest, so here ya go! Tim: Thanks, now let's go Stable Handler: But you need to pa- Tim: Shoots the Stable Handler Witness: Oh God, oh Lord! Runs Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Quickdraws the witness Jim: That was quick, DD! Tim: Huh, that's cool Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Let's get out quick or else more witnesses 10 minutes later Leonard: Cool horses, we ready? Tim: It's tomorrow. Bank heist is tomorrow Leonard: Oh, forgot about that! Laughs Part Fifty-Five Coming Soon Part Fifty-Five, The Giant Bank Robbery Tim: Alright, we are here at the bank. Jim, plant the dynamite on the vault and the side. Me, Harrison, Leonard will do the rest. Got it? Jim: Yeah, Runs Tim: Alright guys, let's go Leonard: Okay then Bank Teller: Hello, my name is Harold. How may I help you? Tim: Fires the revolver at the roof, scaring everyone Jim: IT'S READY TIM!!! Tim: Okay, plant it on the vault! Jim: Okay then! Runs to vault Harrison: It'll go smoothly if you stay calm and follow our orders, aight? Bank Teller: Okay then, sir! Vault blows up Jim: I'll get the cash! Tim: The sheriff's are here, hurry! The side blows up Jim: Got the money, let's go!! They all ran, but only Leonard and Harrison died by two FBI Agent's Tim: Tomorrow, the machine will be fixed and we can go to 2022 Jim: But you said 1967 Tim: Screw 1967, oh and we're is DD? Jim: No idea Tim: Oh well, we rest here Jim: Okay then, let's rest Part Fifty-Six Coming Soon Part Fifty-Six, A Dream All Along Jim: Wakes up. Wait a second, it was a dream! I wasn't in the Old West, but uh I should sleep. It's 3 AM Thus they sleep Part Fifty-Seven Coming Soon Part Fifty-Seven, Christmas Cancelled? New News Reporter: There was a missing person in the United States of America... Jim: Where are the Christmas presents, Tim? Tim: Huh? New News Reporter: The missing person is the well known Santa Claus, he has been missing in Fresno for about 12 hours... Jim: We must call a detective! Tim: No no, we must find him Jim: What, what the heck? Find him? That'll be impossible! Tim: It'll be possible with the Fingerprint-3088 Machine! Jim: Huh? Part Fifty-Eight Coming Soon Part Fifty-Eight, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Tim: Finally, Santa is back. Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEARS!!! New News Reporter: Happy New Years everyone! Hopefully 2023 will be a better year than 2020, 2021 and 2022 Jim: 2023 will be lit Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Happy New Years!!! Tim : How the heck did you get in the hou- Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Here is your party stuff, and bye! Jim: Okay then, anyways. Let's celebrate!!! Tim: Drinks and food, woohoo!!!! Part Fifty-Nine Coming Soon Part Fifty-Nine, Almost Season Two! Jim: Yo, Tim! Tim: Huh? Jim: We're about to get to season two! Tim: Woo hoo! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: What are you cheering about? Jim: We're about to get to season two! Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Oh, cool. Like that's gonna happen Tim: You'll see, Mr. DD Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Yeah yeah, like that's gonna ha- The Glorious Hand: You're dumb Mr. Doofus Doofen the Print Man: Huh, who are you? The Glorious Hand: I was here during the middle school days of those two fools, but you never knew I exist. People say that I was a myth, but they're wrong. I always exist, you people think I was myth. But look here, I do exist Jim: That's cool Season Two Coming Soon |
Or Jim & Tim mess up and teleport some kinda Nation or Colony or unclaimed land |
The Juche People's Republic of Divided Free Land I can see you aren't AMERICAN. |
The Jewish Socialist State of Yokashai Israel Yeah, I'm NEVADAN |
The Juche People's Republic of Divided Free Land Thats just the drunk and gambling-addicted american! |
I eat 2 million |
No, if Jim screws up. Tim doesn't make mistakes, and Jim screws up a lot of stuff |
The Jewish Socialist State of Yokashai Israel *Me the straight-edge Jewish guy who does none of that* I tell you, I'm so straight edge I don't even drink caffeine |
Ok episode 15 Jim screw up |
The Planetary Federation of Independent Mercury The Planetary Social Republic of Independent Mercury is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Overseer Cyote Rosevelt with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 1.459 billion Mercuryians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption. I am perfect. |
Maybe episode 15, who knows TheLandOfFunFunFun and Sarkenegro |
The Juche People's Republic of Divided Free Land What about alcohol? |
The Jewish Socialist State of Yokashai Israel None of that, even if I was old enough I wouldn't do that. I value my life |
Mr Boosty Beasty, Mr Beast Mr Bust. Gasp! Mr Bust! |
The Generation Kill of Kastonvia The North Pacific Office for Economic Opportunity Economy. Economy. Economy. The root answer for any problem troubling the people across our great region. Economy. You always hear it when people lose their jobs. Economy. When the wages are low. Economy. When the rent is high. Economy. Someone has to fix this "Economy" issue or the region will collapse on itself. Hastily formed, the North Pacific Office for Economic Opportunity is now the mainstream way for the region to fight a war on poverty. Now given an insane amount of funds to fight a small proxy war in a third world region. Under a strict deadline, you have to choose how to fix the "Economy" situation in the region. Before you become another victim of the economy. Aerilia, Pinguioris, and TheLandOfFunFunFun |
The Juche People's Republic of Divided Free Land You sre more like an Idahoan or a Hawaiian. Also,seince your a person of the jewish faith... me going to a synogauge and screaming racial slurs (im protestant christian) :pp music while mmod gurder |
*a meme show IP addressed* |
Me Who Made That Meme: 😏 |
The Generation Kill of Kastonvia What are yall taking about? |
The Juche People's Republic of Divided Free Land Ah yes,I hate when my ip addressed is tranced and it is leak online. |
Me: Logs your account |
Hey TNP, I am no longer on vacation. Aerilia, Horrorlandian State, Ardonii, TheLandOfFunFunFun, and 1 otherDivided Free Land |
I dunno, but I did make a new episode of Jim and Tim Changes password and username |