The Unironic Monarchist of Depressive-State is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, ritual sacrifices, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 640 million Depressive-Stateans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Administration are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of VoxTek Enterprises. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.9%.

The thriving Depressive-Statean economy, worth 60.4 trillion Whiskey Bottles a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 94,363 Whiskey Bottles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 451,998 per year while the poor average 11,528, a ratio of 39.2 to 1.

The strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by an Anti-Monarchist, Depressive-State is suspiciously populated compared to its neighbors, the face of Leader is a permanent feature of the VoxTek Enterprises skyline, and meals are now followed by thirty minutes of mandatory exercise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Depressive-State's national animal is the Anti-Monarchist, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Depressive-State is ranked 133,276^th in the world and 2,822^nd in The North Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 757 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.