The Figment of Your Imagination of KeltiOniaLANG is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Uilim Tel with a fair hand, and notable for its frequent executions, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 2.249 billion Jinq are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aaw. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Jinq economy, worth 262 trillion Kinq Currencieses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 116,829 Kinq Currencieses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The best defense is a good fence, religious organizations are being forced to leave the country or pay income taxes like everybody else, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Jinq, and students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. KeltiOniaLANG's national animal is the Fennec Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Arberyan Faith.

KeltiOniaLANG is ranked 112,298^th in the world and 401^st in Carcassonne for Safest, scoring 77.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.