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Atrus Jobrani
Chosen by the Honest Anarchocommunist Party as the new leader of HEP-1, Atrus Jobrani was a President arising after HEP-1 had already withered the state. Without authority over taxation and spending, he governed chiefly by directing HEP-1's state-owned businesses in the formation of policy as well as the HAP in the enforcement of it. Enforcement in this period was grotesquely reliant on homicide, but it was also marked by a significant, gradual reduction of homicide rates from a high peak, as President Jobrani directed the HAP in the minimization of the infliction of extrajudicial death penalties. President Jobrani's record on HAP integrity was imperfect, but overall bribery rates are believed to have nudged downwards during this period. One of the focuses of the Jobrani presidency, which is expected to continue as a governing priority for the HAP, was the creation of conditions of compassion in society. This compassion, it is hoped, will establish conditions for the development of voluntarily law-abiding natures that will sustain a worthwhile society in the absence of taxation and spending.
Political alignment: Moderate

Lalitha Pellé
President Pellé was not remarked upon for her compassionate governing style. She was also not remarked upon for her uncompassionate style. She was mostly remarked upon for vetoing legislation. The homicide rate actually went up slightly during this time, though all-causes mortality went down as environmental protection strengthened and progress was made against disease. Civil rights protection improved slightly. Some said that Pellé worked hard, others claimed that she didn't get much done, and a few said that both were true, owing to the constraints of leadership in an anarchic society.
Political alignment: Liberal

Reginald Morton
President Morton was most infamous for decreeing limits on the number of children individual could have. Detractors argued this couldn't be enforced within an anarchy, but supporters argued that there were means both voluntary and otherwise within the chaotic state of HEP-1. Beyond that, he was also known for his fantastic work in advancing healthcare in HEP-1. Average lifespans went up over two years during his time in office. The nation also became more polite during his tenure, and the quality of the environment improved, while a voluntary anti-crime consensus continued to strengthen. The nation's eponymous priority strengthened with a small movement towards integrity, as well.
Political alignment: Conservative

Kanti Sargon
President Sargon was known for being in the media frequently and trying to shape the nation through that channel. Her fondness for fishing was occasionally mocked by the citizenry; there are few fishermen in HEP-1! Her record on death rates was unimpressive, but overall they went down very slightly. A less impressive opponent of crime than her predecessor, she nonetheless made progress towards voluntary order in HEP-1. However, she was criticized for allowing the black market to grow. Some accused her of collaborating with some black marketeers to ensure a smooth progression of their endeavors with less need to commit crimes against the citizens. Others claimed that she was defending a rebel yell and collaborating with international provocateurs seeking to bring anarchism to other countries. Still more defended her governance, claiming that the nation became politer, and the need to pay bribes became rarer during her time in office.
Political alignment: Conservative

Jaswinder Lubna
The first openly gay president of HEP-1, President Lubna oversaw a period of astounding progress in civil rights. Some critics of Jaswinder Lubna actually claimed that he was pushing inclusivity too fast; they predicted that the nation would see a period where further inclusivity stagnated as society roiled with the adaptation. Cracking the chaotic reputation of civil rights advocacy, this was also a period of falling crime rates and reduced black market activity, though the nation's black market remains strong. Disposable incomes slightly rose, though malnourishment at the close of Lubna's term afflicted a stunning 25% of the public. Much of the progress against crime rates was credited to the HAP's continued advocacy of compassion in society, and despite the ubiquitous food shortages, people managed to scrape up the resources needed for pet ownership in the nation to increase. Obesity rates were nearly static in this interval, but lifespans nonetheless nudged upwards as a result of improved public order.
Political alignment: Liberal

Erik Scout
Defying predictions of a slowdown in inclusivity, Erik Scout's government continued advancing the cause of societal egalitarianism. Civil rights also continued to soar. Although LGBT inclusivity saw no notable advances under President Scout, inclusivity for minor faiths increased, and representation of new political voices increased dramatically. It was said by some that President Scout was the greatest democrat in HEP-1's history. Detractors however claimed that Scout's tenure saw the rise of the rudest society that had ever existed in HEP-1, and that stellar progress in societal compassion under President Lubna ground to a near-complete halt under President Scout. This rise of rudeness came amidst a dramatic fall in murder rates. The last vestiges of the HAP's deployment of murder for political purposes were (supposedly) halted, along with all obvious reactionary murder efforts, leaving only a small, demographically irrelevant murder rate. Lifespans edged upwards; malnourishment decreased very slightly (to 24.8%).
Political alignment: Liberal

Amar Ausra
Continuing a trend of democratic reform, President Ausra managed to increase political freedoms without making the nation ruder. Integrity and inclusivity both increased in this period, while crime rates reached historic lows. Environmental protections reached their strongest point in history despite a continuing absence of government-funded environmentalism. Death rates went down as well. However, not all of the news was good. The scientific sophistication of the economy shuddered, with defeats dealt to information technology, and some people worried that the nation's opposition to taxation might not be firmly rooted enough to resist the reimplementation of an income tax system. Malnourishment rates also remained stable at 24.8% despite reductions of death rates.
Political alignment: Liberal

Gibson Gideon
Most infamous for widespread bans against dangerous activities, President Gideon was mildly mocked for his toothless mandates and his folksy, seemingly illiterate mode of speech. In a ruder nation, this would have been an infamous period of hatred, but rudeness ended only slightly higher than it started. Administratively, Gideon oversaw the implementation of new policy observation tools that the HAP promised to make use of for long-term insight. President Gideon cited his own proudest moment as being the procurement of major contracts expanding the supply of medical robotics technology for deployment in HEP-1, and his record goes down in history as providing an entire term of rock-solid progress in lifespans.
Political alignment: Liberal

Nazanin Darzi
President Darzi made the focus of her presidency the reduction of death rates in HEP-1. Over the course of her time in office, she managed steady progress in making the people of HEP-1 live longer, however she was castigated for the horrible conservativism of her government which set back the state of liberty in HEP-1. The HAP castigated the peoples' lifestyles and sought to influence them to make more healthy, lawful choices. Legal compliance reached its highest point in history! Despite the assaults on intellectual integrity that restrictive social leadership represented, the nation's scientific advancement actually improved, and many people found that they were safe despite a popular attitude ignoring politics in HEP-1.
Political alignment: Conservative

Viraj Edwardson
With very little legislative activity, President Edwardson made the focus of his time in office the conduct of the nation's politicians. The nation grew more polite and more politically representative both. It also grew slightly more conservative, but was overall judged to have declined in authoritarianism. The "no phones hour" mandate was controversial and frequently defied, but President Edwardson touted it as reducing the nation's death rates in a statistically observable manner.
Political alignment: Conservative

Isha Kumar
Striking back against the nation's perpetual famine, President Kumar opened up the economy to a new Diverse Collectives movement that decentralized some of the economic planning and gave the different economic organizations of the nation more freedom to choose their own acquisitions priorities. Further increases in lifespan were achieved under President Kumar, whose leadership was very protective of the nation. Indeed, paternalistically protective; civil liberties frayed under President Kumar and a substantial weight of conformism sank in. Isha was an absolute terror against the black market, achieving steady progress in the reduction of the share of economic activity attributed to illegal operations. Many of President Kumar's decisions were somewhat controversial, but by far the greatest controversy arose when the Honest Anarchist Party forbade all practice of religion, officially secularizing the entire nation of HEP-1. Reports indicated this measure achieved 97% compliance, however it was quietly expected that the actual level of atheism in the nation was being over reported, and when the mandate was withdrawn in the face of public noncompliance the atheism rate appeared to be 46%.
Political alignment: Conservative

Ramakanta Gadhavi
A patient, liberal president, Gadhavi managed to increase civil rights while lowering death rates and defending compassion. She very gently eroded the perpetual famine. She also dressed weirdly! President Gadhavi spent her entire term mostly avoiding legislation and her government was said to be considering every possibility very carefully.
Political alignment: Liberal

Anne Fiddler
A menace to HEP-1's liberals, President Fiddler marked stunning successes at driving back the nation's persistent famines, but she did so at some cost to the nation's civil rights. New laws regulated sports, media, and even proper behavior between the sexes. The nation became more authoritarian and less egalitarian in this time, with bigotry entrenching on a supposedly 'very lawful' basis. Legal compliance did reach its highest point in history. This occurred despite complaints of an increase in hostility between people. With its absence of legal enforcement mechanisms beyond voluntary adherence, the legal system of HEP-1 is a hazardous jewel that other nations dare not emulate, but domestic liberals have been heard arguing that the national culture is occasionally stultifying in its pressures towards "rational" conformity. Conservatives have fired back that the nation is still wildly liberal and tolerates all kinds of "degeneracy". The general opinion of the public to this debate has been a frustrated counterpoint that at least people are less likely to go hungry than they were before President Fiddler took office.
Political alignment: Conservative

Inga Pasternak
When President Pasternak ordered the bulldozing of libraries for conversion into internet cafes, nobody was expecting the famines to resurge stronger than ever, but somehow that was exactly what happened. Yet lifespans increased! Inga Pasternak was then shy of instituting new policies and put everything through intensive review before enacting it. When she did finally act, it was to attempt to expand the nation's moribund mining industries, while simultaneously restricting the advertisement of dangerous products to children. Civil rights, atypically enough, were completely unmodified in this period, changing substantively in neither direction.
Political alignment: Moderate

Panther Theodotos
The first leader in a long time to oversee a reduction in lifespans, President Theodotos prioritized civil rights, pulling the nation up against pressure by conservatives. Authoritarianism sank as political freedoms also grew. Defying stereotypes of both liberals and anarchists, legal compliance and pacifism reached their respective highest points in history. However, public safety dropped. The nation grew more polite during this period. Obesity rates nudged upwards despite stable rates of concern for health. The development index increased despite the loss of lifespan, owing to increases in income and educational attainment. The Honest Anarchist Party (HAP) used economic influence to shape society during this period, relying on its control of state industry to actuate policy.
Political alignment: Liberal

Phaidra Mandic
In an unsuccessful attempt to relieve the nation's long-term famines, President Mandic pushed for still further professionalization of agriculture and higher standards of technical expertise in agricultural work. These restrictions on agricultural employment were credited with reductions in yield. The HAP defended them as consistent with long-term policy in HEP-1, such that efforts to engage uneducated workers in agriculture were counter-revolutionary efforts defying the nation's vital efforts to achieve a rational scientific economy. Furthermore, despite the reductions in yield, average lifespans increased again under President Mandic's tenure, chiefly due to the new maternity leave program, which was widely hailed as an excellent example of a rational investment in the nation's well-being. Phaidra was praised for the compassion of her government, but not, strictly speaking, for its honesty; it was rumored that the nation engaged in some quite successful covert ops against threatening nations during this period.
Political alignment: Liberal

Per Tocet
President Tocet shocked the nation by loosening up rules on hunting. It became legal to hunt species deemed to be menacing to the overall ecological health of the nation. Officially, this was sport hunting and the carcasses were to be dumped or processed for trophies. Unofficially, nobody was surprised when the malnourishment rate dropped 3.8% after the institution of the new rules. Despite the menace of hunting, the nation was generally thought in this time to have grown more compassionate... perhaps to each other, and not to animals, though some argued that even the hunters were contributing to the health of the environment. President Tocet left behind a positive legacy in science and liberty, and was regarded by most as having been a thoroughly acceptable leader, with politeness and political apathy growing in this period. Such complaints as were leveled against him centred on a supposed corrosive effect he had on cultural sophistication in the nation, with tolerance for a kind of 'rough charm' pushing back the fine arts. A quieter complaint was leveled that he had ejected a lot of HAP members who were entirely beneficial to public safety on charges of the misuse of public trust... but as this had been the restoration of the nation's integrity from President Mandic's covert operations, that complaint could not be made too loudly.
Political alignment: Liberal

Raissa Dalmans
President Dalmans maintained extensive deployment of status quo policies, but exerted pressure against black market activity as well as conservative attitudes in sexuality. The intensity of the famine ticked back despite a lack of government action contra famine, creating a mystery element in the politics of HEP-1. As time went on, more people were getting enough to eat! State economists were observing the trend. Some claimed that it clearly could not be attributed to government activity as no specific shifts in policy were attributed with reducing the intensity of famine. Others insisted that it was the result of the continuing success of established government policies creating the structure of the economy in HEP-1. The HAP faced some criticism for focusing on sexual liberation while so many people were malnourished, but they defended the actions of President Dalmans by insisting that HEP-1 was under siege by conservative thinkers who were trying to reduce death rates only in ways that also disproportionately restricted civil rights. They still intended to create a more long-lived society, but they wanted it to be a liberated long-lived society.
Political alignment: Liberal

Umberto Di Pasqua
Most notorious for the sharp rise in anti-tourism sentiment, President Di Pasqua reigned over a period of increasing famine and declining death rates. The HAP overall tightened its grip on the economy during this period, blocking people from making choices that would get them access to food, yet they did this in a paternalistic mode where they still sought to prevent deaths. It is an unusual balance characteristic of the governance of HEP-1 that has lead to gradual expansions of lifespan. Despite the growing famine, agricultural yields actually increased during this time. Crime rates reached their lowest point on record, but the nation was considered to have lost something in compassion, and it was a bit ruder than it began. President Di Pasqua was a conservative whose record on civil rights was negative, with the HAP grudgingly admitting skepticism of some rights during this time after a long period of liberal leadership. However, dissenting voices professing a desire to see a return of liberty in all its splendor were tolerated.
Political alignment: Conservative

Prema Gwerder
The most criminal president in recent history, President Gwermer saw a crime wave occur along with a rise of shocking rudeness. Appallingly, some people were more cheerful in this environment than they had been under President Di Pasqua, perhaps because the nation's famines decreased significantly with the relaxation of economic controls to their weakest point since the founding of the nation. Further progress was made in reducing death rates and somehow, public safety actually rose. Although there was initially some cause for hope in the matter of civil rights, conservatives made shocking gains towards the end of President Gwerder's time in office after reports of inbreeding among immigrant populations. Despite this, Gwerder led the nation to become more inclusive overall!
Political alignment: Conservative

Ažuolas Ivanov
Most notorious for having appointed children to his presidential cabinet, President Ivanov also worked to represent rural voices and modernize the judiciary. His AI judiciary initiative was seen as a blatant intrusion of foreign information technology companies upon the nation of HEP-1 as well as a wide open door for criminality, although defenders of the plan pointed out gains in lifespan and concomitant reductions in the severity of the nation's persistent famines. Legal compliance estimates ended President Ivanov's time in office lower than they began, but there were substantial gains in HDI over this period. Although he defended civil rights during his time in office and was said to have sharply reduced authoritarianism, President Ivanov was criticized as an anti-democratic leader who freely defied public opinion in pursuit of ideological ends. His defenders declared him a wizened ent whose influence would long stand over HEP-1.
Political alignment: Liberal

Carter Collins
President Collins presided over a period of ascending compassion in HEP-1. Liberals and conservatives competed to be seen as the most compassionate influence upon the nation. This was great news for legal compliance in HEP-1, which reached its highest point in history under President Collins. HDI and scientific advancement increased significantly on news of an increasingly literate population. However, death rates increased significantly, violating long-strong trends of reducing death rates. The HAP refused to comment on why increasing deployment of concealed carry in the public increased the relative survival rate of obese individuals.
Political alignment: Liberal

Linda Marchenko
A potent defender of civil rights in HEP-1, President Marchenko loosened the borders and dismantled restrictions on free speech. Her government did not manage to do this without an increase in death rates, but they did manage to end with higher levels of legal compliance than they began. Her government dramatically increased the deployment of AI in the economy of HEP-1 and was credited with advances in the nation's technical sophistication. Pacifism, inclusivity, and the resistance of the public sector to corruption all increased during her time in office as well. Overall, she was widely credited as a successful president despite wide fluctuations in the national etiquette during her time in office.
Political alignment: Liberal

Rajmund McKenna
An avowed disciple of President Marchenko, President McKenna opened his time in office with landmark legislation greatly broadening free speech in HEP-1. Despite this liberalization agenda, he also made measurable gains against the nation's death rates, creating a more long-lived polity. It was not however a more legally compliant polity, as legal compliance edged downwards during his time in office. He built on President Marchenko's gains in public sector integrity with concomitant gains in public safety, but the nation's pacifism eroded during this time. President McKenna shocked the nation by relaxing economic regulations designed to create a more polite polity. The resulting flush of activity reduced the intensity of the nation's persistent famine, but inspired a second shock of bitter hostility that scarred the nation. President McKenna was overall a polarizing president, as many thought his commitment to civil rights was too dogmatic, and left society tattered.
Political alignment: Liberal

Petr Ignatov
Although his efforts to secure the nation's health by driving settlement out of malaria-ridden regions were condemned as conservativism in action, President Ignatov later redeemed himself in the eyes of civil libertarians by promoting nudism and nude art while restricting the use of solitary confinement and other mistreatments in the prison system. A determined fighter of death rates, Petr spent his time in office promoting legislation aimed at reducing all-cause mortality. He also lowered crime rates to their lowest point on record. The nation welcomed new immigrants and gained considerable diversity in this time. Although President Ignatov's urban water rations were hailed as a pro-agricultural reform, yields actually declined during his time in office amidst socialist reform programs and a general downturn in the economy. Although it was not central to his policy, some credited President Ignatov as 'the chef president', for presiding over the longest period of improving cuisine in the nation's history, with dramatic improvements in the quality of food available to the nation's obligate socialists. Although few if any wanted to proclaim a golden age, it was said this was a "silver age" for HEP-1's culture.
Political alignment: Liberal

Leila Gonzalez
President Gonzalez opened her time in office with a controversial "cash for passports" program that created new, highly responsive immigration procedures for wealthy immigrants. This policy achieved some recognition among liberals for advancing the cause of open borders, but it was President Gonzalez's only contribution to liberalism. Death rates fell dramatically during her time in office, partly due to health promotion campaigns and partly due to market socialism reforms that made the economy considerably more responsive and productive. The nation's persistent famines reached a record low under President Gonzalez. However, the nation suffered a crime wave during her time in office, which was only partially ameliorated by the time she left office.
Political alignment: Liberal

Valentína Nazaretian
The struggle for honest governance defined the presidency of Valentína Nazaretian. It seemed like every day there was either a corruption trial or a corruption scandal, with some party officials flagrantly getting away with things and others getting caught for things prior administrations would've let them get away with. The chaos was overall considered to have reflected where the government and the domestic media were putting this issue front and center, with overall substantial gains made in integrity. Democratic governance was strengthened in HEP-1 during this time, but not to historically unprecedented levels. It was still enough to see society reach its rudest, most fractious point in history. The crime wave that arose under President Gonzalez broke open again and worse. All-cause mortality ticked upwards while development estimates were eroded. Many people opposed these fluctuations overall, though dogmatic believers in government integrity kept the faith, and anti-authoritarians praised the loosening up of social life in HEP-1. Equality made some gains as well, with bigotry being opposed more consistently by the nation's obligate socialists.
Political alignment: Liberal

Airat Siemon
President Siemon started his tenure by struggling against the nation's rudeness with a move towards inclusive etiquette, but later governed over historically unprecedented explosions of rudeness. While the nation remained united behind its antigovernmental message, and it remained committed to its life-preserving rational anarchism, its international affairs became fractiously marked with hostility to and from foreign nations. This change was deplored by the Honest Anarchist Party, which emphasized its desire to work with foreign leaders. Civil rights protections were advanced by Airat and reached their highest point ever, a change that also fueled hateful vitriol from reactionaries insistent that civil rights were ruining society, although the President retorted that he was in the work of fulfilling the wishes of his democratic mandate. Despite this hostility, government integrity leapt upwards, with concomitant gains in public safety, fulfilling the basic pledge of the HAP, for which the party honored President Siemon.
Political alignment: Liberal

Landulf Maiella
Notorious for governing over a period of rising death rates, President Maiella was excoriated for his failure to further extend the average lifespans of the people of HEP-1. 'A society where nobody kills anybody in any way,' has long been held up as an ideal of HEP-1 and President Maiella did not fulfill it! He did provide some further protection to the civil rights of the public. The nation was said to grow more compassionate in this time, and some were greatly relieved by positive news on the matter of rudeness, where the nation's upwards trend in rudeness was arrested and brought down somewhat, though nowhere close to longer-term lows. One of the themes of Landulf's presidency was a "return to socialism" agenda where economic freedoms were constricted, regulators were empowered, and the economic planning department was strengthened. This was credited as having aggravated death rates and increased the intensity of the nation's permanent famine, but it did encourage the nation to be more polite.
Political alignment: Liberal

Jolanta Jansons
An arguable tyrant, President Jansons' campaign to restore the etiquette of HEP-1 included a solid drive to restrict the range of political discourse and drive abusive personalities off of the political stage. Public integrity suffered under her leadership, and when confronted by the media, she was quoted as saying, "There are more important qualifications for leadership than not taking bribes." Despite the blatant increase in bribe-taking among civic leaders, crime rates actually fell considerably during her time in office, reaching a new record low. Inclusivity spiked upwards; tolerance for marginalized populations reached a record high. Civil rights spiked, but then suffered some erosion, blackening President Jansons' record in the eyes of some civil rights leaders. The period of rising death rates under President Maeilla was sharply reversed under Jansons, with over a year being added to the nation's already high average lifespans.
Political alignment: Liberal

Solveiga Zarins
President Zarins campaigned against all-cause mortality in a way that was vibrant, effective, and terrifying, starting with a market reform that brought in for/ex through increased sales of socialist cars, and culminating in a firebombing campaign originating from a thought-defunct wing of the HAP. Who were the targets? Natalist organizations accused of causing elevated death rates among women by their opposition to family planning and sex education, as well as their basic high fecundity. Along the way, President Zarins also championed a compassionate release program for convicts with serious health issues, increased economic research into the deployment of immortalized cell lineages, and mandated criminal liability for AI programmers whose creations became criminals. Zarins' reign of terror produced negative results in the national etiquette, and was overall believed to have somewhat eroded HEP-1's compassion, but it did expand average lifespans by half a year.
Political alignment: Conservative

Shay Reardon
President Reardon gave away national territory, increased social media monopolism in the country, and cracked down on civil rights in the name of inclusivity, sabotaging the nation's future on all three counts. His more positive achievements include founding a state-run gambling industry around betting on medieval tourneys, making the nation somewhat more polite in ways that stuck, and giving the government more freedom to ignore the public via increased political apathy. He also lowered crime rates, but not to any record low.
Political alignment: Conservative

Voldemaras Melnyk
Very little happened while President Melnyk was in office, but speech codes at media outlets were relaxed. Public etiquette improved as international subversion was held at bay through international economic cooperation agreements.
Political alignment: Liberal

Kusuma Salamon
Lifespans increased to a then-record high under President Salamon as the state seized foreign-held assets to fund demining operations on contentious borders. Euthanasia was legalized in this time, with less-than-projected effects on lifespan due to concomitant public safety initiatives. Political inclusivity efforts were increased in an attempt to broaden the range of voices represented in the state politics of HEP-1.
Political alignment: Liberal

Afua Alvarado
An opponent of euthanasia, President Alvarado launched an about-turn on President Salamon's right to die initiative. The reason cited for the change was to further increase inclusivity by preserving disfavored and neurodivergent populations against being pressured into suicide. An avid trade warrior, President Alvarado also launched embargoes and tariffs against "unhealthy" foreign crops, achieving another record longevity increase despite an increase in the intensity of the nation's persistent food shortages. A supporter of state-run gambling industry, President Alvarado launched an initiative whereby the state began selling play tickets on a lottery system, where people bought a chance at a seat in a theatre rather than a guaranteed seat in a theatre. Between this and the food tariffs, state revenues were increased in this time.
Political alignment: Conservative

2023-03-15
Military funding has been stripped back. (down)

2023-03-16
Concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule. (nil?)

2023-03-17
Many marriages go virtually unconsummated. (nil?)
Music teachers are commonly seen busking in order to fund their music programs. (nil?)

2023-03-18
The armed forces pride themselves on being conventional and predictable. (down)

2023-03-19
Mechanics are often exhausted by their work. (nil?)

2023-03-20
Throwing a sickie is a serious crime. (down?)

2023-03-21
The nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. (up)

2023-03-22
Morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom. (up)

2023-03-23
Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. (up)
"Leader got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom. (down)
Class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation. (down)

2023-03-24
Posing for pictures is an integral part of military training. (down)

2023-03-25
Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes. (down)
Snitches get riches. (down)

2023-03-26
Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. (down)

2023-03-27
Treason is relative. (down)
The doctor has cold hands. (up)

2023-03-28
Concussed unpersonball players cannot remember their lineup position. (nil?)

2023-03-29
Young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts. (nil?)
The government is giving peace a chance. (down)

2023-03-30
Citizens have to dodge their neighbors' drones while getting the morning paper. (down)
Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication. (down)

2023-03-31
Honest Economic Planners 1 City's flashy holiday light displays can be seen from space. (nil?)
Nude art is becoming wildly popular. (up)

2023-04-01
The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. (down)

2023-04-02
Most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears. (up)
The obligate socialist Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. (down)

2023-04-03
Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough. (down)
It's considered a civil right to be allowed to neglect and mistreat your own children. (up)
The path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment. (down)

2023-04-04
Engaged partners detail their fiancés' private lives in detail to prurient bureaucrats. (down)

2023-04-05
Politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter'. (down)

2023-04-06
People have become comfortably numb. (down) (I didn't know the economy score could go negative.)

2023-04-07
Local government operates tolls on every village road. (up)
Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life. (nil?)

2023-04-08
Environmental officials dismiss uncontrolled wildfires burning down major cities as nature taking its course. (up)

2023-04-09
Foreign leaders are advising that Leader's letters must have gotten lost in the mail. (up)

2023-04-10
Marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home. (down) (1.1)
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand. (up) (1.2)
Some obligate socialist athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. (down) (1.2)

2023-04-11
Leader has no checks and balances after the upper house was abolished. (up) (1.4)

2023-04-12
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers. (nil?) (1.4)

2023-04-13
Voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot. (down) (1.4)

2023-04-14
Emojis are the soul of wit. (nil?) (1.4)

2023-04-15
There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. (up) (1.4)
Legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak. (down) (1.3) (3.9%)

2023-04-17
Hospitals have poor data security but send lots of bodies to be encrypted. (down) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-18
Maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. (up) (1.4) (3.8%)
Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries. (down) (1.3) (3.4%)

2023-04-19
Religion makes people horny. (nil?) (1.3) (3.4%)

2023-04-20
Kindergarten teachers with ankle-bracelets are closely supervised by their parole officers. (up) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-21
Parole board directors light up a joint before telling hash-brownie baking grannies that they have to stay behind bars. (up) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-22
Only the wealthy vote. (up) (1.2) (4.3%)

2023-04-23
The government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?'. (down) (1.2) (4.3%)

2023-04-24
Chickens roam the streets freely. (down) (1.0) (3.9%)

2023-04-26
Cities in Honest Economic Planners 1 declare independence based on interpretation of the historic meaning of cave paintings. (down) (0.8) (3.9%)

2023-04-27
Only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile. (down) (0.8) (3.7%)

2023-04-28
Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration. (up) (0.7) (3.7%)
The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. (down) (0.7) (3.4%)

2023-04-29
Stews often contain used tissues and pocket fluff. (up) (0.6) (3.3%)

2023-05-02
The nation is so apathetic that obligate socialists can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government. (nil?) (0.6) (3.3%)

2023-05-03
War is made in the name of love. (up) (0.6) (3.4%)

2023-05-04
The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. (down) (0.6) (3.1%)

2023-05-05
Political gridlock ensues as even the most innocuous legislation is vetoed by the Supreme Court for potential civil rights violations. (down) (0.6) (2.9%)

2023-05-06
Crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination. (down) (0.6) (2.8%)
An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. (nil?) (0.6) (2.8%)
Kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes. (down) (0.4) (2.5%)

2023-05-07
Being dead no longer has any benefits. (up) (0.4) (2.5%)

2023-05-08
Military training in Honest Economic Planners 1 emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs. (up) (0.3) (3%)
Dining out often involves unpeople on the plate no matter what you order. (down) (0.3) (2.9%)

2023-05-09
Schools offer a range of lessons in subjects as diverse as The Economics of Bullying for Lunch Money. (up) (0.4) (3.4%)
The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. (down) (0.4) (3.3%)

2023-05-10
Prisoners regularly escape detention posing as scarecrows. (down) (0.3) (3.1%)

2023-05-11
Government expenses are beyond compare. (up) (0.7) (3.1%)
It is a silent spring in Honest Economic Planners 1. (down) (0.7) (3%)
The government has adopted a more thrifty attitude to administrating the country's needs. (down) (0.3) (2.8%)

2023-05-12
1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive. (nil?) (0.3) (2.8%)

2023-05-13
There have been reports of people marrying housepets. (up) (0.3) (2.8%)
Televisions are often seized to pay for overdue television license fees. (up) (0.3) (2.9%)

2023-05-14
Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit. (down) (0.3) (2.7%)

2023-05-15
Leader's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies. (down) (0.3) (2.6%)

2023-05-16
Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were. (down) (0.3) (2.4%)

2023-05-17
People can get away with murder these days. (down) (0.3) (2.4%)

2023-05-19
Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. (up) (0.2) (2.4%)
A five-year-old and a convicted terrorist can sit alongside one another in jury service. (down) (0.2) (2.3%)

2023-05-20
The nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere. (down) (0.2) (1.9%)

2023-05-22
Tourists are kicked out if they express interest in their national sport. (up) (0.4) (2%)

2023-05-23
Students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. (down) (0.3) (2%)

2023-05-24
The Farmer's Almanac is the most popular college textbook. (up) (0.4) (2.1%)

2023-05-25
Five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes. (down) (0.4) (1.9%)
The government's stance on marriage is 'Let obligate socialists marry themselves'. (up) (0.7) (2%)

2023-05-26
The environment is gorgeous so long as you're looking up. (down) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-27
The latest political memes depict Leader as an overly-choreographed robot. (nil?) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-28
Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal. (nil?) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-29
No suburban lawn is complete without barbed wire and landmines. (down) (0.5) (1.9%)

2023-05-31
Nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths. (down) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-01
Crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country. (down) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-03
Dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming. (nil?) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-04
The nation is Sky Haven's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters. (nil?) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-05
The regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb. (down) (0.2) (1.6%)

2023-06-06
One of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes. (down) (0.2) (1.6%)

2023-06-07
The contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Honest Economic Planners 1. (up) (1.4) (1.7%)
The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions. (up) (1.6) (1.8%)

2023-06-08
Politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income. (down) (1.5) (1.5%)

2023-06-09
Prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up. (down) (1.5) (1.4%)
Government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals. (nil?) (1.5) (1.4%)

2023-06-10
Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. (down) (1.5) (1.4%)

2023-06-11
Men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues. (down) (1.5) (1.3%)

2023-06-12
The general public only knows their favorite politician's first name. (up) (1.5) (1.3%)
Obligate socialist novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Leader. (nil?) (1.5) (1.3%)
Surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space'. (1.3) (1.1%)

2023-06-13
Going on a diet invalidates your passport. (down) (1.3) (1%)
Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present. (down) (1.5) (1%)

2023-06-14
At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Leader's wardrobe. (up) (1.6) (1%)
Saying "don't do anything that Leader wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal. (down) (1.6) (0.9%)
Honest Economic Planners 1's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. (down) (1.6) (0.9%)

2023-06-16
Major internet servers have acquired citizenship. (up) (1.7) (0.9%)
There are no more heroes any more. (down) (1.7) (0.8%)

2023-06-17
The public transport system has been eliminated. (down) (2.8) (0.8%)

2023-06-18
People invite random old men into their homes to play with their kids. (nil?) (2.8) (0.8%)

2023-06-19
The government is known to care more about its buildings than its people. (up) (3.2) (0.8%)

2023-06-20
The government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups. (nil?) (3.2) (0.8%)

2023-06-21
Drowning sailors are hung out to dry. (up) (3.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-22
Contemporary art museums showcase the latest in centuries-old art. (down) (3.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-23
The deceased are buried mostly to hide them from state-sanctioned corpse-collectors. (down) (3.9) (0.8%)
A few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to Leader. (down) (3.9) (0.8%)

2023-06-24
Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume. (nil?) (3.9) (0.8%)

2023-06-26
The wreckages of bombed planes that litter Honest Economic Planners 1 are highly popular tourist destinations. (up) (4.6) (1%)

2023-06-27
The "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. (down) (4.9) (0.9%)
Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. (nil?) (4.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-28
Swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds. (up) (4.9) (1%)

2023-06-29
Male tourists tend to be fearful of Honest Economic Planners 1's deadly femme fatales. (nil?) (4.9) (1%)
Lawyers spend as much time preparing their make-up as they do their briefs. (down) (4.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-30
Lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to. (up) (5.1) (0.9%)
Proletariat workers identify less with the hammer and sickle and more with the touchscreen and phone charger. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)

2023-07-02
Any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property. (down) (5.3) (1.2%)
Kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class. (nil?) (5.3) (1.2%)

2023-07-04
Sick days are on the rise. (down) (5.2) (1%)
Crop circles are intently studied by investigators with questionable merits. (nil?) (5.2) (1%)

2023-07-05
Propaganda and Partisanship 101 is a required class all political candidates must pass before being nominated by their chosen party. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)

2023-07-09
Leader's Twitcher account is typically used to share unperson memes rather than government policy. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)
Leader's speeches are beloved by insomniacs. (down) (5.2) (1.1%)
Kids are exceptionally good at digging holes. (down) (5.2) (1.1%)

2023-07-10
Grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly. (nil?) (5.2) (1.1%)

2023-07-12
Only native-born obligate socialists who have never left the nation are permitted to run for office. (down) (5.2) (0.9%)
The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia. (up) (5.1) (1.1%)
Ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products. (down) (5) (0.9%)
Basket-weaving is the nation's latest fad. (up) (4.9) (1%)

2023-07-13
Healthcare funding has been cut. (down) (5.4) (1%)
It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws. (up) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-14
The children of Honest Economic Planners 1 are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence. (down) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-15
Much of Honest Economic Planners 1's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence. (up) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-16
Survivors of the Great Internet Flame War often recount horror stories of banhammers and DOS attacks. (up) (5.6) (1.4%)

2023-07-17
Laborers are building walls and making Wezeltonia pay for it. (nil?) (5.6) (1.4%)
Twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. (down) (5.6) (1.3%)

2023-07-18
The SWAT team always rings twice. (down) (0) (0.9%)

2023-07-19
The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign governments' extravagances. (down) (0) (0.9%)
(Note: This still raised the subzero tax level. AVOID TAX HIKE ISSUES. THEY CAN RESTORE TAXES.)
Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians. (down) (0) (0.8%)
People say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-07-21
Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have. (nil?) (0) (0.8%)

2023-07-23
Legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills. (down) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-24
Sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days. (up) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-25
Citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?". (down) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-27
Extreme political groups are outlawed. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-28
Atrus Jobrani chosen.
Atrus Jobrani has just been declared ruler of Honest Economic Planners 1 in an international press conference. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-29
The nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events. (up) (0) (0.8%)
Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-30
Atrus Jobrani wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-31
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-01
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-02
The art of conversation has been rediscovered. (down) (0) (0.7%)
Diplomatic cables about Atrus Jobrani have suddenly been very flattering. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-03
Pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-04
Lalitha Pellé chosen.

2023-08-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-07
Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary. (down) (0) (0.6%)

2023-08-08
Lalitha Pellé's office is running a trade deficit of midnight oil. (nil?) (0) (0.6%)

2023-08-09
Restaurateurs put a lot of effort into persuading customers to accept wafer-thin mints. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-10
The government is outsourcing itself. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-11
Reginald Morton chosen.
Visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-12
Workers tend to schedule naps during all-hands meetings. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-13
In a desperate bid for cheap airfare obligate socialists can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-14
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-15
The number of children one can have is restricted by law. (up) (0) (0.9%)
Ministers browse Alright! magazine for fashion tips. (nil?) (0) (0.9%)

2023-08-16
Political commentators say that Reginald Morton's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped. (nil?) (0) (0.9%)

2023-08-17
The government is giving peace a chance. (down) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-18
Kanti Sargon chosen.
Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-19
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-20
Kanti Sargon's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition. (down) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-21
Kanti Sargon has been known to make speeches in fishing waders. (nil?) (-2.1) (0.8%)

2023-08-22
A blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction. (up) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-23
Convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail. (down) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-24
Kanti Sargon's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners. (nil?) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-25
Jaswinder Lubna chosen.
Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. (up) (-2.06) (0.9%)

2023-08-26
Jaswinder Lubna lives life on the open road - complete with groupies. (down) (-2.06) (0.8%)

2023-08-27
The Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers. (nil?) (-2.13) (0.8%)

2023-08-28
The nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear". (down) (-2.11) (0.8%)

2023-08-29
Jaswinder Lubna has promised 'power to the puppies'. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-08-30
A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-08-31
The Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy. (up) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-01
Erik Scout chosen.
Literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-02
Gossip magazines have pictures of Erik Scout sunbathing on the beach with political rivals. (nil?) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-03
Posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables. (up) (-2.10) (0.7%)

2023-09-04
Bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms. (up) (-2.10) (0.7%)

2023-09-05
Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. (down) (-2.10) (0.6%)

2023-09-06
Pausing for applause during a speech is seen as a form of censorship. (up) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-07
The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. (nil?) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-08
Amar Ausra chosen.
Government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens". (nil?) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-09
The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-10
Ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)
Birth rates have hit an all-time low. (up) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-11
HEP1-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-12
International collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Honest Economic Planners 1. (up) (-2.27) (0.6%) (24.6%)
The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. (down) (-2.19) (0.5%) (This increased malnourishment. As if corruption could feed people! Corrupt leadership causes famines; honest leadership resolves them.) (25%)

2023-09-13
The jails are alive with the sound of birdsong. (down) (-2.19) (0.5%) (24.8%)

2023-09-14
Tourists are forbidden to enter Native obligate socialist lands. (down) (-1.99) (0.5%) (24.8%)

2023-09-15
Gibson Gideon chosen.
Arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated. (nil?) (-1.99) (0.5%) (24.5%)

2023-09-16
Pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves. (up) (-1.94) (0.5%) (24.5%)

2023-09-17
The doctor has cold hands. (down) (-2.21) (0.5%) (23.8%)

2023-09-19
(The death-by-malnourishment rate was 23.7% before taking actions today. My economy is being tampered with illicitly!)
Crossing the road requires a risk assessment. (up) (-2.17) (0.5%) (24.2%)
(The rate of death-by-"bungee-jumping" was 3% both before and after taking actions today, so it didn't affect that stat at all.)

2023-09-20
Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.17
EBMF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-21
Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.18
EBMF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-22
Mechanics are often exhausted by their work.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.24
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-23
Nazanin Darzi chosen.
Visiting dignitaries make excuses to leave functions early and head to the nearest pub.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.1%
S?: 3%

2023-09-24
(No legislative activity.)

2023-09-25
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.1%
S?: 3%

2023-09-26
Jail house rock has been replaced with jail house golden oldies.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%

2023-09-27
No legislative activity.

2023-09-28
Nazanin Darzi is considering changing the nation's name to Blackacre.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%
Many marriages go virtually unconsummated.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.28
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%
The path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.28
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%

2023-09-29
Only lightning has a chance of striking Nazanin Darzi twice.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.27
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.8%
S?: 3%

2023-09-30
Prem Sharma chosen.
Most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.36
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.1%
S?: 3.5%
1
2023-10-01
Politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.36
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.1%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-02
Holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.35
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.2%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-03
Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.35
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23%
S?: 3.5%
Goldfish bowls are three metres in diameter.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.34
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.2%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-04
Obligate Socialist Standard Vodka is the only drink that bars stock.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.31
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.6%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-06
The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.30
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.5%
S?: 2.9%
Hospitals have poor data security but send lots of bodies to be encrypted.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.43
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.5%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-07
Viraj Edwardson chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-08
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-09
The nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.43
EMBF: 0.3%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-10
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-11
Sheepish teenagers are making eye contact with their parents for the first time in a decade during state-enforced 'no-phones hour'.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.37
EMBF: 0.2%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-12
Politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.37
EMBF: 0.2%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-13
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-14
Isha Kumar chosen.
The tragedy of the commons is being tested nationwide but everyone says it's somebody else's problem.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.66
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 3.5%
There's a bright dawn ahead for Honest Economic Planners 1.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.67
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-15
Any reference to a higher being is punished with public shaming.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.67
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-16
The automobile industry is sitting up and taking notice of the new 24 hour race events... as are the track's sleepless neighbours.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-17
Class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%
Engaged partners detail their fiancés' private lives in detail to prurient bureaucrats.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-18
Politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-19
It's rare to find an unchewed pencil.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.02
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%
Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.02
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%
The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-20
Folk are absolutely certain that you can never be absolutely certain.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-21
Ramakanta Gadhavi chosen.
Men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-22
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-23
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-24
Ramakanta Gadhavi is spearheading a new fashion trend of wearing swimming goggles and medieval armour.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.94
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-25
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-26
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-27
Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-28
Anne Fiddler chosen.
Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.94
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%
TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-29
It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.99
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-30
Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned unpersonball fields.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.98
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 7.1%
S?: 1.1%

2023-10-31
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-01
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-02
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-03
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-04
Inga Pasternak chosen.
Libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.17
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-07
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-08
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.17
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18% (Was 17.9%)
S?: 2.9%
50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.15
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-09
FCE: 17.9% (Despite no action being taken, the FCE score has decreased by 0.1% since last measurement.)
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-10
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-11
Panther Theodotos chosen.
Being dead no longer has any benefits.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.9%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-12
Voting is compulsory.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-13
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-14
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-15
Celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Panther Theodotos.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-16
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-17
Dining out often involves unpeople on the plate no matter what you order.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.16
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%
Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.16
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
The nation is Sky Haven's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.23
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
Kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 0%

2023-11-18
Phaidra Mandic chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-19
The Farmer's Almanac is the most popular college textbook.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
People can get away with murder these days.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
All mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-20
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-21
"Phaidra Mandic got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-22
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-23
It is often said that only Phaidra Mandic could bring down Dàguó.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.19
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-24
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-25
Per Tocet chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-26
Convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.19
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.8%
Parties that are too noisy are broken up to prevent disturbing wildlife.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.21
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%
Per Tocet's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.21
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%
Per Tocet's speeches are beloved by insomniacs.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.24
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.8%
One of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.24
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-27
Emojis are the soul of wit.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-28
It's always rabbit season.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-29
Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-30
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-01
Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 2.8%

2023-12-02
Raissa Dalmans chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-03
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-04
There are no more heroes any more.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%
Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-05
An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-07
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-08
FCE: 17.5% (Before legislative activity.)

2023-12-09
Umberto Di Pasqua chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-10
FCE: 17.4% (Before legislative activity.)
Unstable couples are known to break up over which one gets parental leave.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.30
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-11
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-12
Public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.29
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-13
FCE: 17.4% (Before legislative activity.)
The working classes live and die on the fields of the farming communes.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.52
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 2.7%
Anti-tourism militias patrol the borders.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.44
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-14
Tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.47
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%
Prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.47
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-15
Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.47
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%
Many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.7%
The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-16
Prema Gwerder chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-17
Citizens are less concerned with policy and more concerned with whether politicians "call 'em like they see 'em".
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-18
Voters who forget their name are given a hint.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.7%
Sleeping on the job is recommended.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.16
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-19
It is rumoured that Prema Gwerder uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 16%
S?: 2.8%

2023-12-20
Immigrant families holding hands get stopped at the border.
EBMM: Down?
FE?: Down?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 15.9%
S?: 2.7%
The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 15.9%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-21
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-22
Kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.8%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-23
Ažuolas Ivanov chosen.
Translators have been hired to deal with the varying regional accents during national political debates.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.8%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-24
FCE: 15.7% (Before legislative activity.)
Confusing advertising has left citizens unsure if cults will either welcome them or try to kill them.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-25
Politicians spend a lot of time hanging around kids' playgrounds.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.41
FCE: 15.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-26
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-27
Court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-28
Citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets.
EBMm: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-29
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-30
Carter Collins chosen.
Honest Economic Planners 1's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-31
The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-01
Citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-02
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-03
The only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.98
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-04
The Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.98
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%
Group hugs break out during floor votes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.00
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-05
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-06
Linda Marchenko chosen.
Mathematicians are hated by children across the country.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-07
Doctors ask for written consent before making eye contact with patients.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-08
Foreign despots proudly bandstand on obligate socialist airwaves.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.5%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-09
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-10
Pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.93
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.91
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-11
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-12
Much of Honest Economic Planners 1's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
The government is giving peace a chance.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-13
Rajmund McKenna Chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-14
Honest Economic Planners 1's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.14
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.14
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-15
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-16
For some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-17
Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.09
FCE: 13.8%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-18
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-19
Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.12
FCE: 13.3%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-20
Petr Ignatov Chosen.
Swamplands and bogs have been put under quarantine.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-21
Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-23
Major cities are suffering under water rationing.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.20
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%
People say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-24
Kids these days know how to throw a proper punch.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.28
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%
Sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.23
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-25
There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.24
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-26
Nude art is becoming wildly popular.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.92
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-27
Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.92
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-28
Leila Gonzalez Chosen.
The immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-29
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-30
If there's something strange in your neighborhood you call Brancaland.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%
Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-31
The government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.97
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-01
Citizens sell their moldy bread as homemade penicillin.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.17
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%
Leila Gonzalez wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.17
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%

2024-02-02
The government is outsourcing itself.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.5
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%

2024-02-03
Geosynchronous satellites are now manned by unpaid interns.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%
Obligate socialists suffer not the eggplant emoji to live.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-04
Valentína Nazaretian selected.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-05
Valentína Nazaretian lives life on the open road - complete with groupies.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-06
Political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Note: Did not alter political freedom.

2024-02-07
Weekly religious services often resemble campaign rallies.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-08
Escalators are avoided at all costs.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
The nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Anti-government web sites are springing up.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-09
The nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear".
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.46
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-10
'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 10.9%
S?: 3.1%
An increasingly villainous series of sports coaches are demanding the national mascot's true identity.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 10.9%
S?: 3.1%
Valentína Nazaretian's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-11
Airat Siemon chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-12
50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%
Harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments".
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%
Spies caught red-handed are served cocktails on their first-class flights home.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-13
Rumor has it that Airat Siemon has won three lotteries in a row.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.3%
S?: 2.6%
Civic leaders eagerly encourage sinners to spend more time on their knees.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.3%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-14
The nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.9%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-15
Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.9%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-16
The Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%
Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-17
The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-18
Landulf Maiella chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-19
Janitors and factory workers are often better educated than the bosses they work for.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.62
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-20
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-21
Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.6
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%
Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.61
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-22
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-23
Tourists visiting the nation are harangued for being capitalist pig-dogs.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.55
FCE: 12.6%
S?: 2.5%
Only rebellious teens who want to look cool and dangerous drink milk in public.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.22
FCE: 13%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-24
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-25
Jolanta Jansons chosen.
Hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead".
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 12.1%
S?: 3%

2024-02-26
Dictionary sales have hit an all-time high.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-28
Extreme political groups are outlawed.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-29
Government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-03-01
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-02
Building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Courtrooms can be a little sketchy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-03-03
Legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.20
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 3.0%
Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 10.5%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-04
Solveiga Zarins chosen.
Public projects are synonymous with yawn-inducing conformity.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 10.5%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-05
The automobile industry is sitting up and taking notice of the new 24 hour race events... as are the track's sleepless neighbours.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.54
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-06
AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
Exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%

2024-03-07
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-08
Cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Solveiga Zarins's wardrobe.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%

2023-03-09
(No legislative activity.)

2023-03-10
Firebombing politicians' offices has become a common way of expressing dissatisfaction.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
The number of children one can have is restricted by law.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3%

2023-03-11
Shay Reardon chosen.
Shay Reardon reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%
Shay Reardon's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%

2024-03-12
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-13
Skin-tone prom dresses are more unpopular than ever.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 3%
The nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 9%
S?: 3%
Ministers browse Alright! magazine for fashion tips.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-14
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-15
High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%
OOC: Wow, I thought it'd improve civil rights again. Guess this won't be done again in HEP-1.
Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-16
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-17
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-18
Voldemaras Melnyk chosen.
(No legislative activity.

2024-03-19
Laborers are building walls and making Wezeltonia pay for it.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%
For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-20
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-21
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-22
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-23
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-24
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-25
Kusuma Salamon chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-26
Bigtopian relations have become a minefield.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.59
FCE: 9.3%
S?: 2.9%

2024-03-27
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-28
Pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 9.7%
S?: 2.9%
Euthanasia is legal.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.9%
Gossip magazines have pictures of Kusuma Salamon sunbathing on the beach with political rivals.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.9%

2024-03-29
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-30
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-31
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-01
Afua Alvarado chosen.
Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 10%
S?: 2.9%

2024-04-02
Doctors will keep brain-dead coma patients ventilated for years in order to avoid accusations of allowing people to die.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 10%
S?: 2.9%
The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.09
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-03
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-04
Fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.12
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-05
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-06
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-07
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-08
Temper Victoria chosen.
Workers tend to schedule naps during all-hands meetings.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.77
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%
Temper Victoria is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.79
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-09
Terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.79
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-10
Bicyclists are banned from major roads.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.99
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-11
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-12
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-13
Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.00
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-25
School guidance counselors recommend monastic vows as an alternative to higher education.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.08
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-26
Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.28
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -5.28
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-27
Poaching has been on the rise after animals from the nation's zoos were released into the wild.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.29
FCE: 10.7%
S?: 2.8%
No one gossips with Temper Victoria during diplomatic summits.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.29
FCE: 10.7%
S?: 2.8%
The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.25
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Politicians literally speak literally.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.25
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.92
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%