Legislative Archive - 1

2023-03-15
Military funding has been stripped back. (down)

2023-03-16
Concert pianists lie about their occupation to avoid ridicule. (nil?)

2023-03-17
Many marriages go virtually unconsummated. (nil?)
Music teachers are commonly seen busking in order to fund their music programs. (nil?)

2023-03-18
The armed forces pride themselves on being conventional and predictable. (down)

2023-03-19
Mechanics are often exhausted by their work. (nil?)

2023-03-20
Throwing a sickie is a serious crime. (down?)

2023-03-21
The nation's atlases tend to go out of date every few weeks. (up)

2023-03-22
Morale within the seismologist community has hit rock bottom. (up)

2023-03-23
Citizens can be frequently spotted going about their business stark naked. (up)
"Leader got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom. (down)
Class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation. (down)

2023-03-24
Posing for pictures is an integral part of military training. (down)

2023-03-25
Citizens are enjoying a recent large cut in taxes. (down)
Snitches get riches. (down)

2023-03-26
Radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion. (down)

2023-03-27
Treason is relative. (down)
The doctor has cold hands. (up)

2023-03-28
Concussed unpersonball players cannot remember their lineup position. (nil?)

2023-03-29
Young girls and senior citizens alike can be spotted wearing colourful short shorts. (nil?)
The government is giving peace a chance. (down)

2023-03-30
Citizens have to dodge their neighbors' drones while getting the morning paper. (down)
Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication. (down)

2023-03-31
Honest Economic Planners 1 City's flashy holiday light displays can be seen from space. (nil?)
Nude art is becoming wildly popular. (up)

2023-04-01
The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. (down)

2023-04-02
Most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears. (up)
The obligate socialist Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. (down)

2023-04-03
Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough. (down)
It's considered a civil right to be allowed to neglect and mistreat your own children. (up)
The path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment. (down)

2023-04-04
Engaged partners detail their fiancés' private lives in detail to prurient bureaucrats. (down)

2023-04-05
Politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter'. (down)

2023-04-06
People have become comfortably numb. (down) (I didn't know the economy score could go negative.)

2023-04-07
Local government operates tolls on every village road. (up)
Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life. (nil?)

2023-04-08
Environmental officials dismiss uncontrolled wildfires burning down major cities as nature taking its course. (up)

2023-04-09
Foreign leaders are advising that Leader's letters must have gotten lost in the mail. (up)

2023-04-10
Marijuana is legal in the privacy of your own home. (down) (1.1)
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand. (up) (1.2)
Some obligate socialist athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. (down) (1.2)

2023-04-11
Leader has no checks and balances after the upper house was abolished. (up) (1.4)

2023-04-12
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers. (nil?) (1.4)

2023-04-13
Voters must frequently select what they view as the lesser of two evils on the ballot. (down) (1.4)

2023-04-14
Emojis are the soul of wit. (nil?) (1.4)

2023-04-15
There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'. (up) (1.4)
Legislators must raise their hands if they want to speak. (down) (1.3) (3.9%)

2023-04-17
Hospitals have poor data security but send lots of bodies to be encrypted. (down) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-18
Maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. (up) (1.4) (3.8%)
Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries. (down) (1.3) (3.4%)

2023-04-19
Religion makes people horny. (nil?) (1.3) (3.4%)

2023-04-20
Kindergarten teachers with ankle-bracelets are closely supervised by their parole officers. (up) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-21
Parole board directors light up a joint before telling hash-brownie baking grannies that they have to stay behind bars. (up) (1.3) (3.7%)

2023-04-22
Only the wealthy vote. (up) (1.2) (4.3%)

2023-04-23
The government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?'. (down) (1.2) (4.3%)

2023-04-24
Chickens roam the streets freely. (down) (1.0) (3.9%)

2023-04-26
Cities in Honest Economic Planners 1 declare independence based on interpretation of the historic meaning of cave paintings. (down) (0.8) (3.9%)

2023-04-27
Only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile. (down) (0.8) (3.7%)

2023-04-28
Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration. (up) (0.7) (3.7%)
The police have been known to wiretap confessional boxes. (down) (0.7) (3.4%)

2023-04-29
Stews often contain used tissues and pocket fluff. (up) (0.6) (3.3%)

2023-05-02
The nation is so apathetic that obligate socialists can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government. (nil?) (0.6) (3.3%)

2023-05-03
War is made in the name of love. (up) (0.6) (3.4%)

2023-05-04
The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. (down) (0.6) (3.1%)

2023-05-05
Political gridlock ensues as even the most innocuous legislation is vetoed by the Supreme Court for potential civil rights violations. (down) (0.6) (2.9%)

2023-05-06
Crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination. (down) (0.6) (2.8%)
An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. (nil?) (0.6) (2.8%)
Kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes. (down) (0.4) (2.5%)

2023-05-07
Being dead no longer has any benefits. (up) (0.4) (2.5%)

2023-05-08
Military training in Honest Economic Planners 1 emphasizes the tactical advantages of stabbing backs. (up) (0.3) (3%)
Dining out often involves unpeople on the plate no matter what you order. (down) (0.3) (2.9%)

2023-05-09
Schools offer a range of lessons in subjects as diverse as The Economics of Bullying for Lunch Money. (up) (0.4) (3.4%)
The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. (down) (0.4) (3.3%)

2023-05-10
Prisoners regularly escape detention posing as scarecrows. (down) (0.3) (3.1%)

2023-05-11
Government expenses are beyond compare. (up) (0.7) (3.1%)
It is a silent spring in Honest Economic Planners 1. (down) (0.7) (3%)
The government has adopted a more thrifty attitude to administrating the country's needs. (down) (0.3) (2.8%)

2023-05-12
1% of global paper production is bound for the National Archive. (nil?) (0.3) (2.8%)

2023-05-13
There have been reports of people marrying housepets. (up) (0.3) (2.8%)
Televisions are often seized to pay for overdue television license fees. (up) (0.3) (2.9%)

2023-05-14
Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit. (down) (0.3) (2.7%)

2023-05-15
Leader's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies. (down) (0.3) (2.6%)

2023-05-16
Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were. (down) (0.3) (2.4%)

2023-05-17
People can get away with murder these days. (down) (0.3) (2.4%)

2023-05-19
Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes. (up) (0.2) (2.4%)
A five-year-old and a convicted terrorist can sit alongside one another in jury service. (down) (0.2) (2.3%)

2023-05-20
The nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere. (down) (0.2) (1.9%)

2023-05-22
Tourists are kicked out if they express interest in their national sport. (up) (0.4) (2%)

2023-05-23
Students consistently complain that the wi-fi ate their homework. (down) (0.3) (2%)

2023-05-24
The Farmer's Almanac is the most popular college textbook. (up) (0.4) (2.1%)

2023-05-25
Five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes. (down) (0.4) (1.9%)
The government's stance on marriage is 'Let obligate socialists marry themselves'. (up) (0.7) (2%)

2023-05-26
The environment is gorgeous so long as you're looking up. (down) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-27
The latest political memes depict Leader as an overly-choreographed robot. (nil?) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-28
Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal. (nil?) (0.6) (2%)

2023-05-29
No suburban lawn is complete without barbed wire and landmines. (down) (0.5) (1.9%)

2023-05-31
Nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths. (down) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-01
Crooks and people with too many kids are being kicked out of the country. (down) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-03
Dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming. (nil?) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-04
The nation is Sky Haven's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters. (nil?) (0.4) (1.8%)

2023-06-05
The regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb. (down) (0.2) (1.6%)

2023-06-06
One of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes. (down) (0.2) (1.6%)

2023-06-07
The contraband cigarette trade is lighting up across Honest Economic Planners 1. (up) (1.4) (1.7%)
The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions. (up) (1.6) (1.8%)

2023-06-08
Politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income. (down) (1.5) (1.5%)

2023-06-09
Prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up. (down) (1.5) (1.4%)
Government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals. (nil?) (1.5) (1.4%)

2023-06-10
Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues. (down) (1.5) (1.4%)

2023-06-11
Men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues. (down) (1.5) (1.3%)

2023-06-12
The general public only knows their favorite politician's first name. (up) (1.5) (1.3%)
Obligate socialist novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Leader. (nil?) (1.5) (1.3%)
Surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space'. (1.3) (1.1%)

2023-06-13
Going on a diet invalidates your passport. (down) (1.3) (1%)
Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present. (down) (1.5) (1%)

2023-06-14
At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Leader's wardrobe. (up) (1.6) (1%)
Saying "don't do anything that Leader wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal. (down) (1.6) (0.9%)
Honest Economic Planners 1's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. (down) (1.6) (0.9%)

2023-06-16
Major internet servers have acquired citizenship. (up) (1.7) (0.9%)
There are no more heroes any more. (down) (1.7) (0.8%)

2023-06-17
The public transport system has been eliminated. (down) (2.8) (0.8%)

2023-06-18
People invite random old men into their homes to play with their kids. (nil?) (2.8) (0.8%)

2023-06-19
The government is known to care more about its buildings than its people. (up) (3.2) (0.8%)

2023-06-20
The government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups. (nil?) (3.2) (0.8%)

2023-06-21
Drowning sailors are hung out to dry. (up) (3.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-22
Contemporary art museums showcase the latest in centuries-old art. (down) (3.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-23
The deceased are buried mostly to hide them from state-sanctioned corpse-collectors. (down) (3.9) (0.8%)
A few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to Leader. (down) (3.9) (0.8%)

2023-06-24
Elevator music has been replaced by thrash metal played at maximum volume. (nil?) (3.9) (0.8%)

2023-06-26
The wreckages of bombed planes that litter Honest Economic Planners 1 are highly popular tourist destinations. (up) (4.6) (1%)

2023-06-27
The "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. (down) (4.9) (0.9%)
Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. (nil?) (4.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-28
Swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds. (up) (4.9) (1%)

2023-06-29
Male tourists tend to be fearful of Honest Economic Planners 1's deadly femme fatales. (nil?) (4.9) (1%)
Lawyers spend as much time preparing their make-up as they do their briefs. (down) (4.9) (0.9%)

2023-06-30
Lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to. (up) (5.1) (0.9%)
Proletariat workers identify less with the hammer and sickle and more with the touchscreen and phone charger. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)

2023-07-02
Any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property. (down) (5.3) (1.2%)
Kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class. (nil?) (5.3) (1.2%)

2023-07-04
Sick days are on the rise. (down) (5.2) (1%)
Crop circles are intently studied by investigators with questionable merits. (nil?) (5.2) (1%)

2023-07-05
Propaganda and Partisanship 101 is a required class all political candidates must pass before being nominated by their chosen party. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)

2023-07-09
Leader's Twitcher account is typically used to share unperson memes rather than government policy. (up) (5.2) (1.3%)
Leader's speeches are beloved by insomniacs. (down) (5.2) (1.1%)
Kids are exceptionally good at digging holes. (down) (5.2) (1.1%)

2023-07-10
Grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly. (nil?) (5.2) (1.1%)

2023-07-12
Only native-born obligate socialists who have never left the nation are permitted to run for office. (down) (5.2) (0.9%)
The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia. (up) (5.1) (1.1%)
Ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products. (down) (5) (0.9%)
Basket-weaving is the nation's latest fad. (up) (4.9) (1%)

2023-07-13
Healthcare funding has been cut. (down) (5.4) (1%)
It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws. (up) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-14
The children of Honest Economic Planners 1 are often remarked upon for their cheery attitude to extreme violence. (down) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-15
Much of Honest Economic Planners 1's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence. (up) (5.6) (1%)

2023-07-16
Survivors of the Great Internet Flame War often recount horror stories of banhammers and DOS attacks. (up) (5.6) (1.4%)

2023-07-17
Laborers are building walls and making Wezeltonia pay for it. (nil?) (5.6) (1.4%)
Twins move across the country to avoid being accused of the other's crimes. (down) (5.6) (1.3%)

2023-07-18
The SWAT team always rings twice. (down) (0) (0.9%)

2023-07-19
The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign governments' extravagances. (down) (0) (0.9%)
(Note: This still raised the subzero tax level. AVOID TAX HIKE ISSUES. THEY CAN RESTORE TAXES.)
Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians. (down) (0) (0.8%)
People say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-07-21
Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have. (nil?) (0) (0.8%)

2023-07-23
Legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills. (down) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-24
Sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days. (up) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-25
Citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?". (down) (0) (0.8%)
(Note: This raised the subzero tax level. Potentially related to the drop in economic freedom.)

2023-07-27
Extreme political groups are outlawed. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-28
Atrus Jobrani chosen.
Atrus Jobrani has just been declared ruler of Honest Economic Planners 1 in an international press conference. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-29
The nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events. (up) (0) (0.8%)
Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-30
Atrus Jobrani wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates. (down) (0) (0.7%)

2023-07-31
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-01
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-02
The art of conversation has been rediscovered. (down) (0) (0.7%)
Diplomatic cables about Atrus Jobrani have suddenly been very flattering. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-03
Pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-04
Lalitha Pellé chosen.

2023-08-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-07
Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary. (down) (0) (0.6%)

2023-08-08
Lalitha Pellé's office is running a trade deficit of midnight oil. (nil?) (0) (0.6%)

2023-08-09
Restaurateurs put a lot of effort into persuading customers to accept wafer-thin mints. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-10
The government is outsourcing itself. (nil?) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-11
Reginald Morton chosen.
Visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage. (up) (0) (0.7%)

2023-08-12
Workers tend to schedule naps during all-hands meetings. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-13
In a desperate bid for cheap airfare obligate socialists can be seen jogging in a rubber suit just before flying. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-14
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-15
The number of children one can have is restricted by law. (up) (0) (0.9%)
Ministers browse Alright! magazine for fashion tips. (nil?) (0) (0.9%)

2023-08-16
Political commentators say that Reginald Morton's fruitcake plans are about to go pear-shaped. (nil?) (0) (0.9%)

2023-08-17
The government is giving peace a chance. (down) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-18
Kanti Sargon chosen.
Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère. (up) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-19
(No legislative activity.)

2023-08-20
Kanti Sargon's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition. (down) (0) (0.8%)

2023-08-21
Kanti Sargon has been known to make speeches in fishing waders. (nil?) (-2.1) (0.8%)

2023-08-22
A blood-red mark on the doorframe means a building must be passed over for destruction. (up) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-23
Convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail. (down) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-24
Kanti Sargon's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners. (nil?) (-2.08) (0.9%)

2023-08-25
Jaswinder Lubna chosen.
Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. (up) (-2.06) (0.9%)

2023-08-26
Jaswinder Lubna lives life on the open road - complete with groupies. (down) (-2.06) (0.8%)

2023-08-27
The Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers. (nil?) (-2.13) (0.8%)

2023-08-28
The nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear". (down) (-2.11) (0.8%)

2023-08-29
Jaswinder Lubna has promised 'power to the puppies'. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-08-30
A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-08-31
The Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy. (up) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-01
Erik Scout chosen.
Literally voiceless people are unable to protest when food and water are denied to them. (down) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-02
Gossip magazines have pictures of Erik Scout sunbathing on the beach with political rivals. (nil?) (-2.11) (0.7%)

2023-09-03
Posh restaurants scatter glass fragments on the dining room floor to keep out barefoot undesirables. (up) (-2.10) (0.7%)

2023-09-04
Bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms. (up) (-2.10) (0.7%)

2023-09-05
Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. (down) (-2.10) (0.6%)

2023-09-06
Pausing for applause during a speech is seen as a form of censorship. (up) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-07
The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. (nil?) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-08
Amar Ausra chosen.
Government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens". (nil?) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-09
The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-10
Ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)
Birth rates have hit an all-time low. (up) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-11
HEP1-SPAN viewership drops as MPs act their age. (down) (-2.11) (0.6%)

2023-09-12
International collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Honest Economic Planners 1. (up) (-2.27) (0.6%) (24.6%)
The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. (down) (-2.19) (0.5%) (This increased malnourishment. As if corruption could feed people! Corrupt leadership causes famines; honest leadership resolves them.) (25%)

2023-09-13
The jails are alive with the sound of birdsong. (down) (-2.19) (0.5%) (24.8%)

2023-09-14
Tourists are forbidden to enter Native obligate socialist lands. (down) (-1.99) (0.5%) (24.8%)

2023-09-15
Gibson Gideon chosen.
Arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated. (nil?) (-1.99) (0.5%) (24.5%)

2023-09-16
Pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves. (up) (-1.94) (0.5%) (24.5%)

2023-09-17
The doctor has cold hands. (down) (-2.21) (0.5%) (23.8%)

2023-09-19
(The death-by-malnourishment rate was 23.7% before taking actions today. My economy is being tampered with illicitly!)
Crossing the road requires a risk assessment. (up) (-2.17) (0.5%) (24.2%)
(The rate of death-by-"bungee-jumping" was 3% both before and after taking actions today, so it didn't affect that stat at all.)

2023-09-20
Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.17
EBMF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-21
Armed war-criminals gain asylum if deemed 'fabulous' enough.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.18
EBMF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-22
Mechanics are often exhausted by their work.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.24
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.2%
S?: 3%

2023-09-23
Nazanin Darzi chosen.
Visiting dignitaries make excuses to leave functions early and head to the nearest pub.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.1%
S?: 3%

2023-09-24
(No legislative activity.)

2023-09-25
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 24.1%
S?: 3%

2023-09-26
Jail house rock has been replaced with jail house golden oldies.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%

2023-09-27
No legislative activity.

2023-09-28
Nazanin Darzi is considering changing the nation's name to Blackacre.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.22
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%
Many marriages go virtually unconsummated.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.28
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%
The path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.28
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.9%
S?: 3%

2023-09-29
Only lightning has a chance of striking Nazanin Darzi twice.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.27
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.8%
S?: 3%

2023-09-30
Prem Sharma chosen.
Most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.36
EMBF: 0.5%
FCE: 23.1%
S?: 3.5%
1
2023-10-01
Politicians are forced to wear portable lie detectors at all times.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.36
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.1%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-02
Holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.35
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.2%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-03
Discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.35
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23%
S?: 3.5%
Goldfish bowls are three metres in diameter.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.34
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.2%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-04
Obligate Socialist Standard Vodka is the only drink that bars stock.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.31
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.6%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-06
The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.30
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.5%
S?: 2.9%
Hospitals have poor data security but send lots of bodies to be encrypted.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.43
EMBF: 0.4%
FCE: 23.5%
S?: 2.9%

2023-10-07
Viraj Edwardson chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-08
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-09
The nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.43
EMBF: 0.3%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-10
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-11
Sheepish teenagers are making eye contact with their parents for the first time in a decade during state-enforced 'no-phones hour'.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.37
EMBF: 0.2%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-12
Politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.37
EMBF: 0.2%
FCE: 23.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-10-13
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-14
Isha Kumar chosen.
The tragedy of the commons is being tested nationwide but everyone says it's somebody else's problem.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.66
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 3.5%
There's a bright dawn ahead for Honest Economic Planners 1.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.67
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-15
Any reference to a higher being is punished with public shaming.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.67
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-16
The automobile industry is sitting up and taking notice of the new 24 hour race events... as are the track's sleepless neighbours.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-17
Class clowns are frequently listed among the most dangerous criminals in the nation.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%
Engaged partners detail their fiancés' private lives in detail to prurient bureaucrats.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-18
Politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.03
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.6%

2023-10-19
It's rare to find an unchewed pencil.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.02
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%
Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.02
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%
The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-20
Folk are absolutely certain that you can never be absolutely certain.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-21
Ramakanta Gadhavi chosen.
Men avoid even so much as looking at female colleagues.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.93
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-22
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-23
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-24
Ramakanta Gadhavi is spearheading a new fashion trend of wearing swimming goggles and medieval armour.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.94
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-25
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-26
(No legislative activity.)

2023-10-27
Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-28
Anne Fiddler chosen.
Primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.94
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%
TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-29
It's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -2.99
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 3.5%

2023-10-30
Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned unpersonball fields.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -2.98
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 7.1%
S?: 1.1%

2023-10-31
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-01
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-02
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-03
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-04
Inga Pasternak chosen.
Libraries are bulldozed to make way for internet cafés.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.17
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-05
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-07
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-08
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.17
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18% (Was 17.9%)
S?: 2.9%
50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.15
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-09
FCE: 17.9% (Despite no action being taken, the FCE score has decreased by 0.1% since last measurement.)
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-10
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-11
Panther Theodotos chosen.
Being dead no longer has any benefits.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.9%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-12
Voting is compulsory.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-13
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-14
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-15
Celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Panther Theodotos.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.14
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.9%

2023-11-16
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-17
Dining out often involves unpeople on the plate no matter what you order.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.16
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%
Ice-filled coffins are ominously positioned in the corner of every hospital ward.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.16
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
The nation is Sky Haven's leading manufacturer of intricately-patterned sweaters.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.23
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
Kids' party bags often contain candy and e-cigarettes.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 0%

2023-11-18
Phaidra Mandic chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-19
The Farmer's Almanac is the most popular college textbook.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
People can get away with murder these days.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.8%
All mothers are allowed six months fully-paid maternity leave.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-20
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-21
"Phaidra Mandic got your tongue?" has become a popular idiom.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -2.91
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-22
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-23
It is often said that only Phaidra Mandic could bring down Dàguó.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.19
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.1%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-24
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-25
Per Tocet chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-11-26
Convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.19
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.8%
Parties that are too noisy are broken up to prevent disturbing wildlife.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.21
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%
Per Tocet's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.21
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%
Per Tocet's speeches are beloved by insomniacs.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.24
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.8%
One of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.24
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-27
Emojis are the soul of wit.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.28
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-28
It's always rabbit season.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-29
Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.8%
S?: 2.8%

2023-11-30
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-01
Passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.31
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.7%
S?: 2.8%

2023-12-02
Raissa Dalmans chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-03
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-04
There are no more heroes any more.
EBMM: Down.
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%
Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-05
An increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.33
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-06
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-07
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-08
FCE: 17.5% (Before legislative activity.)

2023-12-09
Umberto Di Pasqua chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-10
FCE: 17.4% (Before legislative activity.)
Unstable couples are known to break up over which one gets parental leave.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.30
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-11
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-12
Public footpaths are being slowly eroded by the burgeoning number of ramblers.
EBMM: Nil?
G/T D: -3.29
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-13
FCE: 17.4% (Before legislative activity.)
The working classes live and die on the fields of the farming communes.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.52
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.5%
S?: 2.7%
Anti-tourism militias patrol the borders.
EBMM: Up.
G/T D: -3.44
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 17.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-14
Tradesmen will knock 10% off their fees if customers pay cash.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.47
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%
Prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.47
EMBF: 0.1%
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-15
Family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.47
FCE: 18%
S?: 2.7%
Many of the unemployed have had the fight taken out of them.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.7%
The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.4%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-16
Prema Gwerder chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-17
Citizens are less concerned with policy and more concerned with whether politicians "call 'em like they see 'em".
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-18
Voters who forget their name are given a hint.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 18.3%
S?: 2.7%
Sleeping on the job is recommended.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.16
FCE: 18.2%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-19
It is rumoured that Prema Gwerder uses a magic 8-ball to make policy decisions.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 16%
S?: 2.8%

2023-12-20
Immigrant families holding hands get stopped at the border.
EBMM: Down?
FE?: Down?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 15.9%
S?: 2.7%
The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.44
FCE: 15.9%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-21
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-22
Kids who move from attending a public school in the city to the country often struggle in goat milking class.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.8%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-23
Ažuolas Ivanov chosen.
Translators have been hired to deal with the varying regional accents during national political debates.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.8%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-24
FCE: 15.7% (Before legislative activity.)
Confusing advertising has left citizens unsure if cults will either welcome them or try to kill them.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.46
FCE: 15.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-25
Politicians spend a lot of time hanging around kids' playgrounds.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.41
FCE: 15.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-26
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-27
Court verdicts are predictable to within a hundredth of a percentage point.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-28
Citizens receive notices of disenfranchisement along with their parking tickets.
EBMm: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-29
(No legislative activity.)

2023-12-30
Carter Collins chosen.
Honest Economic Planners 1's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.90
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2023-12-31
The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-01
Citizens are permitted to carry concealed handguns.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-02
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-03
The only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.98
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-04
The Supreme Court vehemently protects civil rights and the right to privacy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.98
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%
Group hugs break out during floor votes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.00
FCE: 13.7%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-05
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-06
Linda Marchenko chosen.
Mathematicians are hated by children across the country.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-07
Doctors ask for written consent before making eye contact with patients.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-08
Foreign despots proudly bandstand on obligate socialist airwaves.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.96
FCE: 13.5%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-09
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-10
Pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.93
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
Jabbing a baby's bottle at officials gets parents waved straight through immigration.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.91
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-11
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-12
Much of Honest Economic Planners 1's computer network is controlled by a rampant artificial intelligence.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
The government is giving peace a chance.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-13
Rajmund McKenna Chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-14
Honest Economic Planners 1's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.14
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%
The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.14
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-15
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-16
For some reason the census focuses on daily banana ingestion and hourly quip rate.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.11
FCE: 13.9%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-17
Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.09
FCE: 13.8%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-18
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-19
Children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.12
FCE: 13.3%
S?: 2.7%

2024-01-20
Petr Ignatov Chosen.
Swamplands and bogs have been put under quarantine.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-21
Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-23
Major cities are suffering under water rationing.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.20
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%
People say that cubists are rubbish because they can't draw faces.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 13.2%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-24
Kids these days know how to throw a proper punch.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.28
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%
Sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.23
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-25
There have been sightings of people walking around dressed in nothing but leopard-skin g-strings for 'religious reasons'.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.24
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-26
Nude art is becoming wildly popular.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -3.92
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-27
Prisoners can't do number twos without their "toilet buddy" present.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.92
FCE: 13.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-28
Leila Gonzalez Chosen.
The immigration office has an express line for people bringing cash in briefcases.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-29
(No legislative activity.)

2024-01-30
If there's something strange in your neighborhood you call Brancaland.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%
Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.95
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-01-31
The government encourages conflict abroad to increase arms sales.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -3.97
FCE: 13.1%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-01
Citizens sell their moldy bread as homemade penicillin.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.17
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%
Leila Gonzalez wears a chewed-up rubber chicken suit to meet foreign delegates.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.17
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%

2024-02-02
The government is outsourcing itself.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.5
FCE: 11.2%
S?: 2.7%

2024-02-03
Geosynchronous satellites are now manned by unpaid interns.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%
Obligate socialists suffer not the eggplant emoji to live.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-04
Valentína Nazaretian selected.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-05
Valentína Nazaretian lives life on the open road - complete with groupies.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.6%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-06
Political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Note: Did not alter political freedom.

2024-02-07
Weekly religious services often resemble campaign rallies.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-08
Escalators are avoided at all costs.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
The nation refuses to discard its increasingly useless penny.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Witnesses have to run a gauntlet of mob enforcers to testify at trials.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%
Anti-government web sites are springing up.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.48
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-09
The nation's leader is normally just referred to as "snuggle-wuggle-huggy-bear".
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.46
FCE: 11.5%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-10
'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 10.9%
S?: 3.1%
An increasingly villainous series of sports coaches are demanding the national mascot's true identity.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 10.9%
S?: 3.1%
Valentína Nazaretian's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-11
Airat Siemon chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-12
50% of adverts on children's television are for clothes made of cotton wool.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%
Harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments".
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%
Spies caught red-handed are served cocktails on their first-class flights home.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.4%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-13
Rumor has it that Airat Siemon has won three lotteries in a row.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.3%
S?: 2.6%
Civic leaders eagerly encourage sinners to spend more time on their knees.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.63
FCE: 12.3%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-14
The nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.9%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-15
Social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.9%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-16
The Messiah (formerly known as Brian) is a mayoral candidate.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%
Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-17
The question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.66
FCE: 11.8%
S?: 2.6%

2024-02-18
Landulf Maiella chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-19
Janitors and factory workers are often better educated than the bosses they work for.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.62
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-20
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-21
Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.6
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%
Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.61
FCE: 12.2%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-22
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-23
Tourists visiting the nation are harangued for being capitalist pig-dogs.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.55
FCE: 12.6%
S?: 2.5%
Only rebellious teens who want to look cool and dangerous drink milk in public.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.22
FCE: 13%
S?: 2.5%

2024-02-24
(No legislative activity.)

2024-02-25
Jolanta Jansons chosen.
Hipster cyclists declare that "metal is dead".
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 12.1%
S?: 3%

2024-02-26
Dictionary sales have hit an all-time high.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-28
Extreme political groups are outlawed.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-02-29
Government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Drug lords often avoid prison time by teaching "chemistry" classes to underprivileged youth.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-03-01
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-02
Building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Reflection is vital for badly behaved politicians.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%
Courtrooms can be a little sketchy.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.26
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 3.1%

2024-03-03
Legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.20
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 3.0%
Noises louder than a whisper have been prohibited by law.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 10.5%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-04
Solveiga Zarins chosen.
Public projects are synonymous with yawn-inducing conformity.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.19
FCE: 10.5%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-05
The automobile industry is sitting up and taking notice of the new 24 hour race events... as are the track's sleepless neighbours.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.54
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 3.0%

2024-03-06
AI citizens are criticized for being robotic.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
Exports of chewing gum are inexplicably falling.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%

2024-03-07
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-08
Cane fights are a common sight in nursing homes.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Solveiga Zarins's wardrobe.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%

2023-03-09
(No legislative activity.)

2023-03-10
Firebombing politicians' offices has become a common way of expressing dissatisfaction.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.47
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.5%
The number of children one can have is restricted by law.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.51
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3%

2023-03-11
Shay Reardon chosen.
Shay Reardon reduces citizens' commute times by giving away their homes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%
The long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%
Shay Reardon's exquisite office door is replaced monthly due to angry petitioners.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3%

2024-03-12
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-13
Skin-tone prom dresses are more unpopular than ever.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.45
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 3%
The nation is renowned abroad for its love of blood and guts.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 9%
S?: 3%
Ministers browse Alright! magazine for fashion tips.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-14
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-15
High school boys are required to pass vigorous self-mastery and sensitivity training to graduate.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%
OOC: Wow, I thought it'd improve civil rights again. Guess this won't be done again in HEP-1.
Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-16
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-17
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-18
Voldemaras Melnyk chosen.
(No legislative activity.

2024-03-19
Laborers are building walls and making Wezeltonia pay for it.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%
For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.65
FCE: 8.9%
S?: 3%

2024-03-20
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-21
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-22
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-23
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-24
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-25
Kusuma Salamon chosen.
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-26
Bigtopian relations have become a minefield.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.59
FCE: 9.3%
S?: 2.9%

2024-03-27
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-28
Pre-takeoff checks last longer than the flights themselves.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 9.7%
S?: 2.9%
Euthanasia is legal.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.9%
Gossip magazines have pictures of Kusuma Salamon sunbathing on the beach with political rivals.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.57
FCE: 10.1%
S?: 2.9%

2024-03-29
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-30
(No legislative activity.)

2024-03-31
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-01
Afua Alvarado chosen.
Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 10%
S?: 2.9%

2024-04-02
Doctors will keep brain-dead coma patients ventilated for years in order to avoid accusations of allowing people to die.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.29
FCE: 10%
S?: 2.9%
The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.09
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-03
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-04
Fair-weather fans talk during plays while die-hard theatre enthusiasts stay at home.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.12
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-05
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-06
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-07
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-08
Temper Victoria chosen.
Workers tend to schedule naps during all-hands meetings.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.77
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%
Temper Victoria is frequently seen begging critics to stop insulting the government.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.79
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-09
Terrified tympanists are finding themselves on the front lines armed only with kettledrums.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.79
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-10
Bicyclists are banned from major roads.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.99
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-11
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-12
(No legislative activity.)

2024-04-13
Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.00
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-25
School guidance counselors recommend monastic vows as an alternative to higher education.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.08
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-26
Adverts proclaim it has to be healthy if the Mornay uses hand-grated Gallopavian Gruyère.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.28
FCE: 10.2%
S?: 2.8%
Birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -5.28
FCE: 10.3%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-27
Poaching has been on the rise after animals from the nation's zoos were released into the wild.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.29
FCE: 10.7%
S?: 2.8%
No one gossips with Temper Victoria during diplomatic summits.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.29
FCE: 10.7%
S?: 2.8%
The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.25
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Politicians literally speak literally.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.25
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Politicians who misplace decimal points on expense reports are fired for gross incompetence.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.92
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-28
Strict term limits have been applied to all elected offices.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.92
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%

2024-04-29
A proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII'.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.92
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Shaking a stone out of your shoe is considered to be dangerously risqué.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.92
FCE: 10.6%
S?: 2.8%
Most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.01
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3.2%

2024-04-30
Only lightning has a chance of striking Temper Victoria twice.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.01
FCE: 10.4%
S?: 3.2%

2024-05-01
The nation leads Sky Haven in per capita stalking.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.10
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.2%

2024-05-03
Police officers find government bureaucracy more terrifying than most serial killers.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.10
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.2%
Hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -5.10
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.1%
Murderers and thieves claim divine inspiration to avoid prosecution.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.10
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.1%
Octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.16
FCE: 9.4%
S?: 3.6%
Temper Victoria's new office is 6 by 8 feet with steel walls and a barred door.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.16
FCE: 9.4%
S?: 3.6%

2024-05-04
Temper Victoria's new door-knocking campaign has the sweet taste of success.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.15
FCE: 9.4%
S?: 3.6%

2024-05-04 (It reports the previous thing as having been done on the third!)
Toast never burns but always has a weird chemical taste.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -4.95
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.2%
Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.95
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.2%

2024-05-06
Political cartoons depicting Temper Victoria's face on an unperson's buttocks are selling like hotcakes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.95
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.1%

2024-05-07
Honest Economic Planners 1 is notorious for its citizens' infidelity.
EBMM: Nil?
FE?: Nil?
G/T D: -4.95
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.1%
Scientists recently cloned the long-extinct feather-bellied unperson.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -4.99
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.1%

2024-05-08
Truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.09
FCE: 9.9%
S?: 3.2%
The old neighbourhood isn't how most obligate socialists remember it.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.12
FCE: 9.6%
S?: 3.2%
The parliament building has installed a revolving door.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.12
FCE: 9.6%
S?: 3.2%

2024-05-09
Religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Up.
G/T D: -5.12
FCE: 9.6%
S?: 3.2%
The doctor has cold hands.
EBMM: Up.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.37
FCE: 9.1%
S?: 3.2%

2024-05-10
Rural communities are all but disenfranchised as politicians focus all their attention on winning the deciding urban votes.
EBMM: Down.
FE?: Down.
G/T D: -5.42
FCE: 9.1%
S?: 3.2%