RidgefieldBoard

As news of the untimely disappearance of the reporter from The city or rlyeh finally reaches the New Slovakastan Department of Communications, after going through every other Department, a telegram is written and sent. It reads the following:

"Greetings from New Slovakastan, we are sorry to hear about this mans disappearance, and to assure his familys head is held high, we are offering an all-expenses-paid trip to our beautiful capital Ajaccio! They will be welcomed as they were Mr. Spears own citizens, and will be spending one week at our five-star luxury hotel, Casa De Ajaccio, which is only 3 miles from our beautiful shoreline! There's a reason we have the fifth best weather in Ridgefield, and sixth in environmental beauty! Mr. Spears also plans to meet with the family personally. Welcome to New Slovakastan!"

- Jacob Rutterfield, Department of Communications

New slovakastan wrote:

As news of the untimely disappearance of the reporter from The city or rlyeh finally reaches the New Slovakastan Department of Communications, after going through every other Department, a telegram is written and sent. It reads the following:

"Greetings from New Slovakastan, we are sorry to hear about this mans disappearance, and to assure his familys head is held high, we are offering an all-expenses-paid trip to our beautiful capital Ajaccio! They will be welcomed as they were Mr. Spears own citizens, and will be spending one week at our five-star luxury hotel, Casa De Ajaccio, which is only 3 miles from our beautiful shoreline! There's a reason we have the fifth best weather in Ridgefield, and sixth in environmental beauty! Mr. Spears also plans to meet with the family personally. Welcome to New Slovakastan!"

- Jacob Rutterfield, Department of Communications

We thank you good sir. They would love to spend some time out of their house full of bad memories. They will most certainly be going.

Following all the hubbub going on in the world. The President has signed in the first bill of his presidency. He has put into action the term limits bill. Putting CM's terms at 5 years and the President's terms at 5 as well. Due to this. The first true election of Rlyeh's new Republic is going on.
The candidates are
Zepi Vohv'Vhetl of the New wings
She is running on a campaign of expanding the military and pushing back against Antarcticao's influence.
Iashidhi Brexhi of The Rlyehian Communist Party
He is running a campaign of welfare for all Rlyehians and pushing on several Rlyehians xenophobia.
And finally the up and coming star
Gyhgi Vhyrra of the Rlyehian People's Front
He is running a campaign where if he were elected he would lead a crusade against the crimes committed by Antarcticao and installing a new, more republican government, that would be more open to foreign trade.

In a low-lit tower chamber eddying with smoke, Lord Reagent Smar of Crowacea caresses a timeless feldspar orb. In the gloom of an ancient doorway, Commissioner Hlee'tea shifts subtly from foot to foot, awaiting orders.
"Имате наређења, комесаре. Зашто још увек плешете овде као да сте узбуђени што ћете бити на узици?" (You have your orders, Commissioner. Why do you still dance about here as though excited to be put on a leash?" - and hereby all lines shall be translated for the readers' convenience.)
"Respectfully, my lord, our secret police have already successfully infiltrated the ranks of Antarcticaoans Tower workers. But we have not successfully located the whereabouts of the foreign journalist." Hereupon, he took leave to clean his glasses, but the Lord Reagent did not regard him as he did so. Rather, Smar gazed neutrally at the billowing chimney of musky magma and ash spewing forth from Rejynuova, Old Glass Peak. The chimney of smoke now shivered eastward. The winds were shifting, the climate changing.
"Proceed in the search for the missing journalist. Infiltrate other ranks of Antarcticaoan society - I leave it to you to determine which. If any risk of exposure occurs, units have their orders - diversion, distraction, at any price, do not be caught."
"I'll see to it, lord."
"Officer," the Reagent adds. The Commissioner immediately abandoned his struggle to maintain dignity in grappling with the obsidian-inlaid cast iron door handle, too wide and unwieldy for his stumpy pale human sausage fingers, and pivoted to rapt attention.
"Lord."
"It's time we made ourselves known to our fellow Ridgefieldians. Hail a courier at once."
"It shall be done," Hlee'tea replied with a bow. After a few beats of inaction, the reagant gazing languidly upon him, Hlee averting his eyes and nodding slightly and monotonously to nothing in particular, he pivoted again and proceeded to, gracefully, hook a muscular, knit-clad arm around the massive iron door handle, and gave it a strong jerk with his entire upper body. The door slithered agape, but he could not extricate his beefy arm swiftly enough to slide through. On a third attempt, with an unsettlingly intimate bear hug, he simply fell away from the door with the entirety of his middle aged athletic weight and thereby gained passage to go about his duties.

Lord Reagent Smar observed his exit silently.
Then returned, with subtly piqued interest, to developments in the orb.

hey ill give you 5million poends of uraniam for 5 bee farms

Good scientists wrote:

hey ill give you 5million poends of uraniam for 5 bee farms

I'LL TAKE IT!
We'll send the hives immediately

With the infiltration of Crimson Tower by a foreign power, in clear violation of the treaty, I order all of my men to hunt down those loyal to Crowacia hidden within Crimson Tower, and execute them on sight. Some will be spared for information and then executed via high voltage furniture. I will not stand for infiltrations. I am implementing an even greater security system and any craft my men find within the exclusion zone around Crimson Tower will be destroyed immediately.

As for the journalist, he is on a plane back to The city or rlyeh. For the most part unharmed. The only injury the doctors could find was a minor black eye. Along with the journalist, a 75 acre estate located in central Antarcticao will be gifted to the family to use at their discretion, along with 3 million Shmekls.

-Emperor

I am glad to hear that that journalist was returned home safely. As for the infiltration of your Crimson Tower, it is unfortunate that this happened. Peace was starting to seem plausible between Antarcticao and the Meritocratic League. I advise we hold a vote between all the members to determine what we should do about this issue? Is all the other nations agree that we should take that sort of action? - President Spears

CCTV FOOTAGE:

A man in Crimson tower uniform is shown walking down one of the main tunnels.

5 Crimson Officers charge the man and beat him over the head with the butt of the rifle.

They drag him off with trails of blood to the execution ward.

-End of footage-

"This is what happens to people who infiltrate Crimson Tower. Ill kill every single one of those agents who infiltrated the tower. I urge others to come forward, and I may spare you in exchange for information."

-The Emperor

Turning from the monitor, Hle'tea regards his commanders solemnly. Some of the men, however, were laughing.
"When Lord Reagent saw this he also chuckled. But this is no laughing matter. Just because Ol' Emperor Cow, as you lads have taken to calling him, doesn't know about the chemical weapon he incidentally set loose inside that agent's body, Agent Klem will not join us in future such punchlines. To honor this loss, let us all rejoin at the ceremonial pyre on the beach to lament with bloodwine and roast beast."

Long into the night, the secret police of Crowacia mourn the loss of Agent Klem and celebrate this minor victory by way of savage, hedonistic revelry.

As the hunger moon spins below the horizon and the brilliant sun renews its battle against day-blighting smoke of Old Glass Mountain, Hle-tea huddles semi-lucidly on a now fairly deserted beach, wrapped in a shaggy beach blanket with fellow commander and long-time comrade, Zinn, watching the bonfire coals smolder in the dawn.

"Do you think their scientists will find a cure before Antarcticao's population suffers?"
Taking a long drag on his handrolled spliff, "The Unseelie Court willed it, comrade...what business is it of ours?" He adjusts the blanket on Hle'tea's elaborately tattooed arm and, catching Hle's eye, winks coquettishly. "'We are but soldiers...'"

The Reagant was nonplussed that Agent Klem successfully maintained the secret of his allegiance. He was a good agent, this was a given. Hle'tea was a good commander, that was also a given. A bad commander is a dead one. Similarly, a kind spy is a dead spy.

As morning blossomed across the far reaches of the Ridgefield, Lord Reagant Smar's various carrier birds found purchase on the heraldic outposts of many nations. Written with ink of rhodedendron on bleached linen, the words read:

"It pleases the Sovereign Nation of Crowacia at this historic moment to emerge from long-deliberate obscurity and now join those who share our mission in restoring the wilderness to our majestic land. To those who value strict but fair harmony with the earth and all its citizens, we come as brothers and sisters in arms. To those who would seek dominance of the earth through automation and/or human conquest, we come as a blight upon your very blood.

Cordially/vehemently yours,
Lord Reagent Smar"

Recently, Kuresh Ali was the arbiter in the case of an alleged violation of the Treaty of Narevana by Emperor David of Antarcticao.

After long delegation, Ali ruled in favor of The XII Legion Fulminata, however, it was revealed that the Emperor misspoke and committed perjury. In light of false evidence that Emperor David threatened war against Fulminata, Ali overturned his verdict to rule in favor of Emperor David, however, he striked the Treaty of Narevana down in favor of new terms:

Emperor David is granted full ownership over the disputed Island, but is to demilitarize the zone of all military capability of threat to any national presence within fifteen miles off the coast of Narevana.

Today a group of Antarcticoan college students bombed the Rlyehian communist party's headquarters, killing 4 and wounding 10 others. They were apprehended by the guard's east district officers. When asked if they had any connections to the Antarcticoan government they said the following

"We don't follow any damn warmongers. Especially not that idiot. We fight to restore the republic, a republic that you let fall! That's why we fight."

They claim to be part of a revolutionary group operating outside Antarcticao. The students will be returned to their place of origin for trial.

Nueva rico wrote:

Recently, Kuresh Ali was the arbiter in the case of an alleged violation of the Treaty of Narevana by Emperor David of Antarcticao.

After long delegation, Ali ruled in favor of The XII Legion Fulminata, however, it was revealed that the Emperor misspoke and committed perjury. In light of false evidence that Emperor David threatened war against Fulminata, Ali overturned his verdict to rule in favor of Emperor David, however, he striked the Treaty of Narevana down in favor of new terms:

Emperor David is granted full ownership over the disputed Island, but is to demilitarize the zone of all military capability of threat to any national presence within fifteen miles off the coast of Narevana.

I still think this was an unfair ruling, after I proved that I did not commit perjury. However, I will not reinstate the debate once more. If you want to see what happened in that case, check out the discord.

The elections of Rlyeh are over. The winner is....Zepi Vohv'Vhetl of the New Wings party at 59%! Following Presidential elections we were also electing new council members. The council stands as the following. New Wings 46% Communist Party 32% and the Rlyehian People's Front at 22%. We will see how this progresses.

A coalition of Long, Centre-Right, and Freedom Party parliamentarians are working to pass a law for the increased funding of Bolderdash’s Regional Militias, Merchant Marine, and Weaponised Police forces that would effectively make the Bolderdashique Armed Forces thrice as strong in response to Antarcticao’s recent aggression. We will be prepared to stand strong with our Brothers-In-Arms in The city or rlyeh. The only potential conflict with this legislation is that the Progressive Party, who stands strongly against it, holds plurality in Parliament. More updates to follow.

The city or rlyeh wrote:

The elections of Rlyeh are over. The winner is....Zepi Vohv'Vhetl of the New Wings party at 59%! Following Presidential elections we were also electing new council members. The council stands as the following. New Wings 46% Communist Party 32% and the Rlyehian People's Front at 22%. We will see how this progresses.

I formally invite the candidate to dinner in the Impirial Palace in the capitol of Antarcticao. I also invite the leader of Bolderdash to the dinner so the three of us can engage in diplomatic talks. I’d like to reinforce the bonds between our great nations.

-Emperor

The city or rlyeh wrote:

I'LL TAKE IT!
We'll send the hives immediately

great

I except the emperor's invitation. We will meet a your capital's international airport in a bit. I still need to get settled in here.

As Zepi Vohv'Vhetl and the three candidates of The city or rlyeh upcoming parliamentary election unpack their bags in the bustling Jade Square Campaign Hotel, each member in turn receives the same identical note slid under their doors - all but for the representative of the Rlyehian People's Front, who lacks full time aids and seemed to be in something of a daze this evening. After exiting the shower and gussying modestly for the imperial dinner, she walked right over the note and took a ride to the Jade Memorial International Airport.

The note they all should have received read as followed:
The dinner is a trap. The emperor means to control the election. Our advice: proceed with extreme caution or not at all. - Friends of Rlyeh

*the emperor is handed a piece of paper*

The Crowacian leader wrote this?

Yes your highness.

Why? What have I done to upset them? First they infiltrate sovereign land, then try to sabotage a peaceful dinner surrounding diplomacy. It that isn’t an act of war I don’t know what is.

Sir, please remember war was outlawed. We could face severe consequences.

I know that, yet this enrages me. ... Deport all crowacians. Any that are still here within a week, arrest, then execute them.

Your wish is my command sire.

Oh and make sure the airport is ready for our guests.

Of course my lord.

You are dismissed.

*the general exits the room, closing the door softly behind him.*

We would willingly send an envoy if ANY member of the Executive Council was willing to go—however, for party or personal reasons, all have declined the invitation. Nonetheless, we will see who we can gather. Prince Vasily of Tríelle has shown some interest, so you may have a member of the Bolderdashique monarchy on your hands. Treat him well.

"Commander."
This time it was Commander Zinn standing at attention before the Lord Reagant & his feldspar orb.
"I'm sure you are now aware of this unfortunate truth: there is a leak in the flow of diplomatic exchange. How was Antarcticao made aware of our agents? How did he come to know of the discreet intel provided exclusively to the citizens of Rlyeh before the candidates so much as left for the airport? How did one of the notes arrive physically in his hands when neither he nor his agents were allegedly at the hotel? There are a lot of puzzles here and as philosophically delightful as a puzzle challenge can be, this is not the time for games. Who can say how many of his own 'innocent' civilians that emperor will deport in this witch hunt before realizing no Crowacians reside within his borders?"
"I will arrange an interrogation, Lord Reagant. We will find and correct the leak."
"What of the candidates of The city or rlyeh ? What actions have they taken in response to our intel?"
"That has yet to be determined, lord."
"Very well, Commander. Take your leave."
Bowing gracefully, Zinn unsheathed his sword, hooking it through the massive iron door handle for leverage, and hoisted the door open in a grand, swift and practiced exit.

Lord Smar pocketed the strangely light scrying orb and retired to his office's red velvet loft bed below the turret. Scrying was a wearying sport that took a tax on a man's soul. A good lord naps at every opportunity; there's no telling when duty will next withhold the mercy of sleep.