The Publication of Eastern Pacific News Service is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emjay Moon with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service and irreverence towards religion. The hard-working, cynical population of 10.992 billion East Pacificans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rilanon. The average income tax rate is 31.1%.

The strong Eastern Pacifican economy, worth 625 trillion Caeks a year, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 56,920 Caeks, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

New arrivals are asked the location of the Minister of the Interior's birthmark, new legislators take a week-long class entitled "Keeping Your Job: How to Avoid Offending Emjay Moon", opposition party MPs campaign shirtless to show off their numerous lash scars, and money can't buy happiness but it can buy immunity to prosecution. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eastern Pacific News Service's national animal is the Parrot, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is News.

Eastern Pacific News Service is ranked 126,132^nd in the world and 2,525^th in The East Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 12.75 flags saluted per person per day.