The Empire of Zarnitre is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Cesare d'Azzurro with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.797 billion Zarnitreans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monteregio. The average income tax rate is 45.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zarnitrean economy, worth 764 trillion Aureo Imperiales a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 159,305 Aureo Imperiales, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Songs in 4/4 time are simply too common for the musical cognoscenti, social media sites prompt users to send birthday greetings to unresponsive nonagenarians, Goldilocks has found a lucrative career as a zoning consultant, and toddler groups have taken over local libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zarnitre's national animal is the Tuxedo Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Christianity.

Zarnitre is ranked 324,910^th in the world and 3^rd in CTR for Nicest Citizens, with 0.32 average smiles per day.