The Tea Obsessed Culture of Vulcan Persons is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Henricus Hilarius Hubertus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, deadly medical pandemics, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.288 billion Vulcan Tea Lovers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vulcana Regar New Yorkshire. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Vulcan Tea Lover economy, worth a remarkable 1,011 trillion Yorhshire's Violent Tendency Teas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 235,959 Yorhshire's Violent Tendency Teas, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 964,504 per year while the poor average 38,217, a ratio of 25.2 to 1.

People regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed, government debts are financed through alchemy, relations with Merovingia are as cold as Vulcan Persons's skill with the blade, and there is a law against "filthy foreign food". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Vulcan Persons's national animal is the The Pointy Eared Agitated Duck of Chaos, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Paranoid Tea Enthusiasm.

Vulcan Persons is ranked 325,999^th in the world and 15^th in Burge Classroom for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 11.4 on the Kitten Softness Rating.