The Holy Nuclear War Machine of Volcanislavia is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by God-Emperor Magnethands with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, digital currency, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 18.905 billion Volcanislavians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maximum Security Citadel X. The average income tax rate is 98.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Volcanislavian economy, worth a remarkable 4,481 trillion gold sovereigns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 237,044 gold sovereigns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Editorials that criticize the government are legally obligated to display the "pants on fire" warning, people take government jobs for the frequent flier miles, taking hostages is a great way to influence government policy, and consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Volcanislavia's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Volcanislavia is ranked 326,347^th in the world and 66^th in Gay for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -13.51 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.