The Republic of Upper Arlington is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.302 billion Upper Arlingtonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 52.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Upper Arlingtonian economy, worth 160 trillion Ducats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 122,897 Ducats, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, prospective secessionists nervously declare how worthless and unimportant they are, among slaves 'bastard' is an honorific rather than an insult, and members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Upper Arlington's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Upper Arlington is ranked 39,178^th in the world and 307^th in Novaya Zemlya for Nicest Citizens, with 18.66 average smiles per day.