The Empire of United Mafia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by The Godmother Taylor Sweet with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.238 billion Mafiosos are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vice City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 19.2%.

The powerhouse United Mafian economy, worth 104 trillion Credits a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 84,114 Credits, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

The tax department is having withdrawal symptoms, sports fans complain that cricket tests now last an unbearable ten days, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, and citizens select which government department gets their income tax Credits each year. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Mafia's national animal is the Rat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Currency.

United Mafia is ranked 198,544^th in the world and 694^th in Concord for Lowest Crime Rates, with 56.98 law-abiding acts per hour.