The Most Serene Republic of Zamolodchikova is a huge, cultured nation, remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 324 million Zamolodchikovians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 29.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Zamolodchikovian economy, worth 21.6 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Retail, Cheese Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 66,549 dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, citizens with artificial limbs are forbidden to serve as beauty pageant judges, doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick, and government crews work tirelessly to retake the suburbs from organized packs of raccoons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zamolodchikova's national animal is the bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Zamolodchikova is ranked 76,000^th in the world and 2,059^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 2,818.81 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.