The Republic of Ulm 383 is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its unlimited-speed roads, zero percent divorce rate, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.428 billion Ulm 383ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Ulm 383ian economy, worth 179 trillion Ducats a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 125,735 Ducats, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 492,874 per year while the poor average 21,824, a ratio of 22.6 to 1.

Families consisting of more than three people are forced to split up, government election advice reads like a restaurant menu, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls, and children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ulm 383's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ulm 383 is ranked 104,535^th in the world and 185^th in Swabian autonomous region for Most Cultured, scoring 66 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.