The Black Hawks of TSP is a mammoth, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The cynical population of 8.931 billion TSPians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 45.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped TSPian economy, worth 211 trillion rubledollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Furniture Restoration, Cheese Exports, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 23,690 rubledollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Harry Potter books are banned, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, the country's famous rainforests are being bulldozed by the mining industry, and everyone apparently sends Leader hair-filled lockets, offers to die heroically, and poetic desires to co-parent a child. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. TSP's national animal is the hawk, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

TSP is ranked 166,459^th in the world and 1^st in TSP for Nicest Citizens, with 12 average smiles per day.