The High Athelingric of Towle is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Asher Wiley with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, ubiquitous missile silos, and disturbing lack of elderly people. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.933 billion Towleans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osearwynn. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Towlean economy, worth a remarkable 1,348 trillion pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 150,982 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 6.5 times as much as the poorest.

Livestock mutilations are on the rise, marine biology students are shocked to discover that a whale is a mammal, the nation's faithful often say there is a higher power watching over them, and politicians can't accept birthday presents from their own children. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Towle's national animal is the snow leopard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Adoptionism.

Towle is ranked 324,876^th in the world and 16^th in Card Gardens for Highest Drug Use, scoring 4.12 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.