The Gaudy Purple Lint Trap of Towelania is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Joe Naccosh with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cheerful population of 44.254 billion Towelies are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Social Policy, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of FairVu Drive In. Income tax is unheard of.

The enormous but inefficient Towelanian economy, worth a remarkable 4,990 trillion Mooseberries a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Gambling, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 112,774 Mooseberries, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Faceless corporations are expected to assume parental responsibility over millions of teenagers, schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, and meat prices are soaring as the farming industry struggle under government-imposed restrictions. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Towelania's national animal is the penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is a minor religion.

Towelania is ranked 44,630^th in the world and 1^st in ComedySportz for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 4,783.85 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.