The Empire of Tonokov is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Frederick I with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, infamous sell-swords, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 3.479 billion Tonokovians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Industry, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Evil Prague. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tonokovian economy, worth 608 trillion Marks a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 174,791 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting is voluntary, there is an abondance of ackawi and zartschmelzend in every Tonokovian grocery store, asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn, and Frederick I's handshakes with opposition leaders usually lead to thumb wars. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Tonokov's national animal is the Slovak, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Tonokov is ranked 8,169^th in the world and 2^nd in Sun Tzu the Art of War for Highest Poor Incomes, with 136,528.6 Standard Monetary Units.