The Borderlands of Thistledom is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Thistle with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 40.164 billion Thistledoms are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New London. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Thistledom economy, worth an astonishing 10,203 trillion euros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 254,044 euros, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 918,681 per year while the poor average 50,134, a ratio of 18.3 to 1.

Diplomats shake hands with their right and hide a poison dagger in their left, the only way to escape lengthy prison terms is in a body bag, the government tries not to listen to the people unless it absolutely has to, and the government invades its allies more than its enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Thistledom's national animal is the lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Thistledom is ranked 286,683^rd in the world and 20^th in Haiku for Most Primitive, scoring -488.12 on the Scary Big Number Scale.