The Republic of Thing 3 is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its enslaved workforce, complete lack of prisons, and unlimited-speed roads. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.595 billion Thing 3ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed, including voting. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Industry, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 60.8%.

The all-consuming Thing 3ian economy, worth 317 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 88,402 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

Students are explicitly allowed to write answers on their forearms before exams, forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations, selling bombs to terrorists has become government policy, and most barbers are also surgeons. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thing 3's national animal is the squirrel, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thing 3 is ranked 32,115^th in the world and 10^th in Distorted Memories for Largest Black Market, with 53.6 trillion Standard Monetary Units.